LoRyder's Lo-Down

Making Changes

2007-02-06T16:13:00.000-05:00

Well, since Blogger has some new features, I'm going to be trying a few out. If there is anyone out there that still comes by this site, you may notice the templates and stuff on this page change a few times. Deal with it.

~Peace

Fugly Flight Attendants

2006-06-06T17:01:00.000-04:00

Does anyone remember back when all fight attendants/stewardesses/whatever the hell they are called these days were actually pretty? When did this change? I didn't get the memo.

In the past 6 to 8 months, I've taken quite a few trips up and down the east coast. Out of all of those trips, there has been a grand total of ONE attractive member of the flight crew. ONE!

Fugly people need to see the country too, I guess. Thank god for noise cancelling headphones and my Creative Zen mp3 player!

~peace

A new thing

2006-05-30T14:14:00.000-04:00

You may notice something new here.

I have decided to start running ads on this blog. The reason is simple. Money. It may not generate much, but every little bit helps.

However, I also know how annoying some ads can be. So let me make this promise to you, dear reader. I will never knowingly put any type of advertising on this page that I think will be harmful, annoying, or overly obtrusive. This means there will never be pop-up or pop-under ads. There will never be ads that install any kind of code on your computer without your knowledge. I will do my best to not have any kind of flashing ads that might send you into a epileptic seizure. And as much as possible, I will not put any ad on this site that I don't believe in the product.

Down at the bottom on the left, you will see some Google text ads. I can't always promise that I believe in anything Google sends my way, but I do think Google is a sound company, they have the.best.search.engine.period. And they do their best to tailor the ads they send to match content on your page. That's about the best I can hope for.

At the top of the page is a link for eMusic. I thoroughly researched the product, and I like it. A lot. They are the leader in indie band lables. They are the second largest pay site for downloading music, in number of subscriptions, second only to iTunes. And other than iTunes, they are the only legal service that will work with iPods. Why? Because they deliver music in mp3 format. There is no encryption. There is no limit to how many computers you can use the song on. There is nothing in the song but music. No DRM (digital rights management), the song is yours. And instead of the normal .99 per song, their tunes are about .25. I think this is a great service. I encourage you to try it out for yourself. Hey, sign up for your 50 free songs anyway. It won't cost you anything. If you don't like it, cancel the membership after you grab your free songs. No harm done. Fair warning, you have 2 weeks to get your free tunes, then it will convert to the monthly fee of $9.99 for 40 downloads per month. Still a great deal, but I'm laying out the terms for you right up front so there is nothing hidden.

Anyway, have a rockin' day.

-LoRyder

Birthdays

2006-02-27T19:05:00.000-05:00

Birthdays come, birthdays go...all in all they are really just another day.

I did go out on my actual birthday a couple of weeks ago. I hung out with some friends here and there. I ended up over-indulging that night, and honestly don't remember at least an hour of that evening. Even wose, when asking friends what happened to me, they don't know either. Ah well, c'est la vie.

My real celebration won't take place for another week, as I don't think my birthday will be complete until I get to spend time with the person I most want to be with. And that comes Friday.

I CAN'T WAIT!!!

I got some 'splainin to do...

2006-01-22T19:28:00.000-05:00

Okay, yet again, I have slipped in keeping up with this damn blog. I'll try to catch up on everything in due time.

My last update was Dec. 5 when the snow came. It was pretty, and it didn't stick around very long. We haven't had any really bad weather since then.

I'll start catching up with a bit of a rant. This rant is directed at the TSA (Transportation Security Administration). A good friend of mine was supposed to come visit me for Christmas. You can already tell by that statement that it didn't happen. Why? Because of the TSA. My friend was able to present her ID to the curb-side check in, and receive her printed e-ticket boarding pass. Her bags were checked and sent on their merry way. Due to an auto accident, my friend was in a wheelchair at this time. She goes through the TSA security checkpoint and was DENIED boarding the plane. Why? Because, without her knowing it, her drivers license was expired. That's right. She was not allowed on the plane due to an expired drivers license.

TSA says that the ID was not valid. Excuse me, but 1) she wasn't trying to drive the plane, so what if the license is expired. 2) even if the license is expired, the person standing in front of you is the same person in the photo on the ID you are holding in your hands, with a complete address. 3) no where on either the airline's website, nor on the TSA web site does it say the drivers license can't be expired. It doesn't even say the license has to be valid. Yes, it says a passport has to be valid, but not a license. Don't believe me? Here's the link. As of this writing, the exact words are:

If you have a paper ticket for a domestic flight, passengers age 18 and over must present one form of photo identification issued by a local state or federal government agency (e.g.: passport/drivers license/military ID), or two forms of non-photo identification, one of which must have been issued by a state or federal agency (e.g.: U.S. social security card). For an international flight, you will need to present a valid passport, visa, or any other required documentation.

I called the airline and TSA and spoke with three front line employees and three supervisors. None of them could provide documentation that says the license can't be expired, nor could they provide documentation that says the drivers license has to be valid. Yet they still denied my friend boarding.

The last TSA supervisor I spoke with said, "It's a security risk" I asked how it was a security risk. She couldn't tell me. "It just is." I said, okay, if this is a security issue, then please explain to me how, by your own policy, you don't even have to have a photo ID to board a plane. You can get on with just 2 forms of non-photo ID, one of which must be issued by a state or federal agency. This means that anyone with a computer and a cheap printer can copy off a Social Security card, print it out on card stock, which can be bought at any office supply store for five dollars, steal someone's wallet and combined with a stolen credit card and a cheap knock off SS card, they would be allowed to board a plane. At least a drivers license has some security and anti-duplication things in it to make it harder to forge. This is not a security issue, this is just some minimum wage screener flexing what little bit of power tripping authority they have been given.

The supervisor had no answer for me. But my friend was still denied boarding the plane, and the next day, came down with a terrible congestion and cold, so an entire week was taken away from us. Thank you TSA.

Folks, this country is NOT concerned with safety. They are merely doing something...anything...to make it look like they are doing something. I'm sure the extra screenings are in some small way keeping us marginally safer than we were before September 11, 2001. But is it really worth the extra inconvenience we are all going through? If it really made a difference, I would be all for it. But not being able to profile suspects? When 15 of 19 terrorists all came from the same country, that's not racial profiling, that's being mildly observant. And in the mean time, little old ladies are being strip searched because their wire support bra that keeps their tits from scraping their knees sets off the damn metal detectors.

Benjamin Franklin said it best, my friends. ""A people that would sacrifice rights and freedoms for a bit of safety deserve neither the freedom nor the safety." And I'm beginning to believe, we don't deserve to be free and we don't deserve to be safe.

~peace

Winter Has Arrived

2005-12-05T18:50:00.000-05:00

So today, I woke up to a winter wonderland. Snow was falling in mass quantity and continued to do so most of the day. Yes, the first snowfall is always pretty. But as it has arrived about three weeks before Christmas, I fear this may very well be a very cold and wet winter. And as temperatures start to fall tonight, the wet roads will turn to ice, which is always fun to drive through. Ah well, I'll enjoy the "prettiness" of this while I can. Hope your day is grand too!

~peace

The Christmas Tree is up!

2005-12-04T23:55:00.000-05:00

Last night, I finally found the time to get the Christmas tree up. It has already put a festive air to the house and I'm slowly getting into the spirit. I personally don't care whether others celebrate Christmas, Hannuka, Kwanza, Blow Myself Up For Allah Day, or whatever, as long as you shut the hell up about me celebrating Christmas. It's a happy time of the year for me, and I will enjoy it and celebrate it as I see fit. And if it offends you, then go get a life and stay the hell out of mine. Merry Christmas!

I also finished getting the leaves out of the front yard today! This was a major feat, as for whatever reason my yard tend to fill with them. Eventually the city will send around a big truck with a massive vacuum cleaner attached to it and suck up all the leaves out of the ditches. As for the back yard, I'll just run my lawn mower over it and turn them into instant mulch. I'll get to that eventually.

I'm also slowly working my way through cleaning up the house thoroughly. Where does all the clutter come from? I swear I think it has breeding parties when I'm at work or asleep. Oh well, the battle will go on!

One thing I do need to do, is hire an electrician to wire up a couple of outdoor electrical outlets. I keep forgetting I don't have any of those until I need to plug something in when I'm outside. Man, I also need 48 hour days just to get everything done!

Oh well, fa la la la la!

Customer Service Is Everything

2005-11-28T19:29:00.000-05:00

Why is it so hard to find good customer service these days? Growing up, I remember hearing the phrase, "The customer is always right" and most businesses adhered to that mentality. Understand that I have worked retail in my past. I also have my own side business now. I am fully aware that the customer really isn't always right. As a matter of fact, the vast majority of the time, the customer is flat out wrong. But I still do my best to make the customer feel right, even if I know he is wrong. Unless it will adversely impact my bottom line, I have always tried to make the customer feel appreciated and know that I want their business.

On "black Friday", the big shopping day after Thanksgiving, I went in search of an mp3 player. Wal-Mart was sold out, so I then went to Circuit City. Big mistake. They did have them in stock, but they didn't have any on display for me to actually take a look at and put in my greedy little hands. I asked the dorky kid on the floor if I could see this thing before I bought it. He looks at the box and says, "No, it's factory sealed." What? Of course it's factory sealed, you moron, everything in this store is factory sealed! "Well, we can't open it." Sigh. Fine, get me a manager. I know the kid is only doing what he's been told, and I don't fault him for following the rules. Manager comes over and I explain the situation to him. I want to buy this thing, but I want to see it first and they don't have any on display.

Manager #1: "I'm sorry we don't have any on display, but it's in a sealed box, so I can't open it."
Me: "well, who can open one of these?"
Manager #1: "I can."
Me: "great, open this please"
Manager #1: "Oh, I can't do that."
Me: "but you just said you could"
Manager #1" "I misunderstood you then"

Excuse me? You have someone who wants to drop a quick $250 and all I want to do is SEE the thing first and you won't open the box? WHAT THE FUCK?
At this point, a second manager has stepped up and is listening in, and then chimes in.

Manager #2: "So what exactly is the problem here?"
Me: "I would like to purchase this mp3 player, but you don't have any of this model on display, and I would like to see it first. I would like you to open this one so I can actually see the product"
Manager #2: "Well, this is sealed."
Me: "Yes, I know this. That's how things come when they get shipped to you."
Manager #2: "Our company policy is that we can't open the product"
Me: "This is not a big deal, I only want to see what I"m buying first"
Manager #2: "Sir, you don't have to get upset about this. We just have to follow our company policy. And it says we can't open the boxes. If we open this, and you don't buy it, we have to charge a 15% restocking fee"
WHAT???
Me: "You opened product to put all these other items on display, didn't you?"
Manager #2: "Yes, but we had company approval to do that. Maybe Creative hasn't paid us to put this product on display."
Me: "Yes, but this is a new product, that is more expensive than anything you have out here, and I would like to have this, but I would like to actually see it first before I spend $250 on it."
Manager #2: "You can read the specifications on the box. If it meets your needs, I don't see why you would need to see it."
Me: "Would you buy a car without seeing it first?"
Manager #2: "No, but this isn't a car, now is it?"
Me: Dumbfounded stare. "You know something? You guys are definitely not the only store in town that has these in stock. I can take my money elsewhere since you obviously do not want to make a sale."
Manager #2: "Have a good day."

And I walk out shaking my head. As I stated earlier, I have worked retail before, and I do have my own side business. I really wish my business were so good and cash was flowing so freely to me that I could bear to watch $250 walk away from me merely because I didn't feel like showing a customer my product. I know of very few businesses that are able to turn their back on easy cash so readily.

I went then to Best Buy, who were very friendly and helpful, and even had one of the players on display that I could pick up and touch and play with and all that good stuff, but unfortunately were out of the player. Across the street from Best Buy was another Circuit City. I shuddered at the thought of walking in yet another one of those bastions of ineptitude. I went to lunch and chilled out for a while. I then said to myself, you know, maybe it was just one store of morons. And you've already held one in your hands, you really don't need to see one at this point. And if these guys are morons too, I can just order it online.

So, against my better judgment, I talked myself into going into the different Circuit City. They didn't have any on display, but they didn't have any mp3 players on display. I looked in the locked case and saw one in there. I called the sales guy over and he opened up the locked door and pulled out the box for me. I checked the little sticker on the front that said what color the thing was, and politely asked the guy, "are we sure this is the color of the player?" He said, "Let's find out." and proceeded to pop open the sacred FACTORY SEALED box take out the holy unit and hand it over to me to see for myself. My jaw hit the floor as I stared at the player, then at the sales guy, then at the player, then at the sales guy. So much for "corporate policy" about not opening a damned box.

Wrap it up, I'll take it. Boom, just like that, the store pocketed a quick $250, and I was on my way. Was that so hard?

~peace

Home Again

2005-11-16T13:29:00.000-05:00

My vacation is over, dammit, and I'm back home now. Camelot Days was a blast, and a LOT of hard work. There is something really satisfying about being dead tired from working really hard all day and still having a great time doing it. Helping my friend, Tigre, with her booth at the faire was a LOT more work than I had anticipated. But the work involved was also really cool. I met a lot of really neat people, saw some great costumes (called "garb" in the Ren Faire circle), caught a few brief minutes of some good entertainment acts, helped sell some product, and the jewelry and other things we sold really made people smile. How can any of that be a bad thing?

Have you ever had some of those times where you are pissed off or frustrated as hell, but know that you will look back on it later and laugh about it? A lot of this weekend was like that. My friend and I went to Wally World before the event to pick up a new air mattress for her tent. We found a really cool one, double height queen size, big ol' fluffy thing that just looked comfortable as hell, ya know? I also picked up a battery-powered air pump to inflate that big sucker with, since we would be on a primitive camp site with no electricity. After the first day of vending, we go over to another vendor's booth to relax and talk and just enjoy some good conversation and company. We finally all get tired, and head back to our site to put up the tent and get some much needed sleep. The tent goes up without too much problem, and I roll out the new matress. I think, man, that thing is big in this little tent. Eh, no big deal we are only gonna sleep in here for a few hours.

Then I open the box the new air pump is in. Uh oh. That doesn't look right. I pull out the pump and look at it by lantern light. Aero-sport? WTF? I bought a Coleman. I look at the box, I look at the pump. Yep, sure enough, the box says Coleman battery powered air pump. The thing inside it was Aero-sport pump that needed an AC adapter to work, wich of course, was not in the box. THIS IS NOT GOOD! Tigre hears a few naughty words escape my lips and asks what's wrong. I give her the wonderful news, and we start discussing our plan of attack, which is basically to start walking through the site begging others for a spare pump. First we talk to the guys who run the trebuchet who did have a pump we could use...a BICYCLE pump. For a double height queen size mattress.

Um. No. Thank you.

Next we found a wonderful gathering of people sitting around a fire pit and getting their drink on. They had a pump we could use that would actually work! Score! And it was the exact pump that I thought we had bought at the store. Grr. So we take it back to the camp site and I begin inflating the mattress. Tig is sitting off to the side while I get this done. And in just a few minutes... she hears these squeaking sounds. "What is that noise?" she asks. I begin to snicker and reply "you really don't want to know." "Is it leaking?" "No" I reply, "that sound is ...well... it's the sides of the tent bulging." Long pause. "WHAT?"

Yes, the sides of the tent bulging. The damn mattress was bigger than the tent floor. And getting bigger. So big in fact that by the time it was fully inflated, the tent door wouldn't completely close. DAYUM! The tent looked like a muffin that had risen bigger than the muffin pan and spilled over the edge. All we could do at this point was just snicker. Getting the fitted sheet on the thing was also a challenge, but eventually we got everything done and crawled into the tent, and zipped up the door as much as we could.

The mattress had a built-in pillow, but due to the size of the thing, it was next to the door, which wouldn't shut completely and you really don't want to sleep with your head next to the door anyway, and the thing was so big, bulging out the tent sides there was no way to turn it around. So now our feet are elevated like we were in traction in the hospital. The mattress is double height, which puts us just a couple of feet from the tent ceiling, and if you have ever camped, you know that most tents have one of those little gear bags suspended from the ceiling so you can store stuff up there that you don't want on the ground, like wallets and watches and stuff. Well, we are so high up, that if you raise up a bit, that damn bag hits you in the head.

By this time, we are both so tired, we just laugh a bit and go to sleep eventually.

But you know something, even with the comedy of errors, I still had a great time and can now laugh about it all.

Now it's time for the holidays.

Blog Anniversary

2005-11-08T17:47:00.000-05:00

Oh my god, I just realized that I have been posting to this blog for a year now! I missed the actual anniversary by a few days (November 3, 2004). But hey, this is still a happy realization.

I've actually posted some pretty good articles over the past year. But the one thing I realize is that I have not posted regularly. I will try to do better at this, my dear readers. Some days, I just don't have anything interesting to say, ya know?

Oh well, maybe I should post the boring shit too, since so many other blogs do that anyway.

~later

Quote for Tuesday

2005-11-08T17:45:00.001-05:00

Confidence doesn't come out of nowhere. It's a result of something... hours and days and weeks and years of constant work and dedication.
- Roger Staubach

A few days off

2005-11-08T17:45:00.000-05:00

This will be my last post for at least a week. I'm heading out on vacation tomorrow for some much needed fun time. I'll be helping a friend of mine set up and run her vending booth for Silver Tiger Art at the Camelot Days Renaissance Faire. There are also a couple of days planned in there just for fun and relaxing things too, so it won't be all work. Even though the work part will be fun! I'm sure to have lots of pictures, and I just might share one or two of those.

It should be a lot of fun and I'm really looking forward to this. I'm still smoke free and the little counter on the top left shows me that I've saved over a hundred bucks now. But I also know that as I approach the 30-day mark, it is a dangerous time for those of us who have recently quit smoking. This is when we start getting a little cocky (as if I need to be any more than I already am) and occasionally think, "oh, one won't hurt me" or other such nonsense as that. I'm keeping my guard up and not letting myself think in those terms. The acronym "N.O.P.E." is still holding for me (Not One Puff Ever).

~peace

Another "quit smoking" hurdle cleared

2005-11-04T12:00:00.000-05:00

Well, I made it. I managed to go out last night to a bar, hang out with my smoking friends, have a few drinks and even sing some karaoke, and was able to resist the urge to smoke. I did tell my friends that I had quit, and they were all very supportive.

Yes there were temptations. Several times I wanted to pick up someone's pack and light one up. Several times I wanted to ask for just a drag. But I didn't. And I'm really happy with that. I was very careful to not drink to much and let my guard down. And up until the very end of the night, I made sure I didn't do any shots, which tend to creep up on you fast. But after I had already paid my tab and was on my way out, a friend bought me a shot, and I figured, well, I'm leaving anyway, might as well.

I had a good time, and was able to stick to my commitment. Celebrate life's small victories, right?

~out

Another Test for Not Smoking

2005-11-03T19:45:00.000-05:00

As of now, I have gone 20 days without a cigarette. I have made it through the first few really bad days. I have made it through some really stressful things that popped up in my life (as they always seem to do when I think about quitting smoking), I even went on an extremely long road trip. And through it all I have somehow managed to resist the sometimes overwhelming urge to light one up. The road trip was a really big test for me. Usually when I get behind the wheel, I'm smoking like a chimney. It's a way to help pass the monotonous boredom of highway driving, and it helps keep me awake. But I was able to get through 1800+ miles without taking even one puff.

I can really only think of one more test I need to overcome. And that would be going to a bar. I have had a couple of beers at home since I quit, but I have not stepped foot in a bar in almost 3 weeks. Well, that's not completely true. Yesterday I did go to this little English type pub around the corner from where I work for lunch. But I went by myself, and just ate my meal and left. There was a certain twinge to light up while I was there. The big glass ashtray with the Camel logo in the center was sitting right next to me at the bar. The line of taps sitting just to my right. The soccer game on the tube above my head. And just behind the bar, I could see the display of packs of smokes available for sale. The girl sitting two seats down from me finished her meal and lit up a cigarette. I occasionally glanced her way and thought about how many times I lit up immediately after finishing my meal. Part of me really wanted to ask her for one, but the larger part was pleased that I really didn't need it.

So tonight, I think I will head to one of my favorite hang outs. There will be karaoke tonight. And the bar is typically pretty smokey. I've already told myself that if I feel tempted, I will walk out. On the advice of a friend, who has been quit smoking for a very long time, I plan to tell the bartender, wait staff, and my friends that I have quit, and to please do not buy me drinks or shots or in any way aid me in getting really trashed where my judgement might be weak. I'm pretty sure they will support me in my drive to give up this habit. Wish me luck, for tomorrow at 6pm EST, will be my three week mark. And from what I've read, this is a very dangerous time to slip and start smoking again.

~peace

Where is the media for Hurricane Wilma?

2005-11-01T18:55:00.000-05:00

Several months ago, the United States was deluged with images of destruction from Hurricane Katrina. The lives it affected was truly overwhelming and astounding. People all over the world were moved by the massive devastation and destruction this natural disaster wrought on New Orleans and the surrounding area. Many lives were lost, and even more property was wiped out. Many of us contributed to the Red Cross and other charitable organizations to provide what help we could. And the mass media was relentless in bringing us images and stories of how the many lives were shattered, broken and bent.

Fast forward to October 23, 2005. The day Hurricane Wilma, after obliterating the Yucatan Peninsula, turned it's sights on Southern Florida. Hurricane Wilma will go down as the strongest hurricane ever recorded, a massive category 5, with winds topping 175 mph. Thankfully, the storm reduced in strength before bearing down on Florida, and my heart truly goes out to the people of Mexico who were battered for two days with that monster of a storm. But when the storm hit Florida, it was still a very strong category 3, with winds sustained at 125 mph. Over 3 million people were without power. And over a week after the storm, that power still hasn't been restored. How could it be?

But let me ask you something...have you heard much about this storm where you live? What has happened to the people of Fort Lauderdale, Miami, Palm Beach and the rest of South Florida since this storm devastated that part of the United States? No one knows, really, because the television stations, the radio and the newspapers are not telling us anything. And I for one am furious about this. I happen to work at a newspaper, and I confronted my news editor on why, only 2 days after this storm made landfall, there was NOTHING on our front page about it. Her response? "well, we thought other things were more important, and we feel people are just hurricaned out."

Hurricaned out? WHAT THE FUCK? And as for other things being more important, I checked our front page as to what was deemed more important. Let's see, there was a story about how much it would cost to buy out the two major colleges of this area's football coaches contracts, and a story about the IRS not returning a few income tax refunds. This is what was deemed "more important" than 3 million lives being damaged. This is what was thought to be more important than the initial 10, and now over 22 deaths attributed to Hurricane Wilma.

Now I happen to know someone who lives in that area. She tells me what's really going on in that area. How so many elderly are not being attended to, how FEMA and other agencies are not getting the aid to those who desperately need it. There are food and water distribution sites set up here and there, but what do you do for the elderly, handicapped and disabled who live on the second, third or higher floors in buildings that have no electricity, and those people cannot use the stairs to get down to the sites, are not able to stand in line for 4 or more hours, and many don't even have cars to get them to these sites? And the city busses of Fort Lauderdale are not being run for people who have no other means of transportation. Why are these agencies not taking food and water to these people? The death toll in Florida continues to rise daily as people begin reaching those areas and find people who have starved to death, ran out of oxygen or medicine or were left without water. And the lack of power has also caused countless loss of income for many businesses, both large and small. My friend's business, Silver Tiger Art, is largely funded by her web site. Her web site was on a Florida-based server. And that server was offline for almost a week. Every day without electricity cost yet more money to her business in possible lost customers. Yet have we been told about this? I know I haven't by the media organizations I follow.

And this country is NOT hurricaned out. As you know, I have a radio show on AKA Radio. Now, my show only gets 20 or 30 listeners on a good night. Last Wednesday night, I did a telephone interview with my friend, who also happens to be a DJ on the station. As my listeners began hearing about the plight of these people, they started BEGGING me to let them help. In a two hour show, we raised over $250. This country is not hurricaned out. People want to help. They just need to know that help is needed. And it wasn't just the States. I also received donations from Canada and Great Britain too. And for all of you, my deepest thanks go out to you.

With that money, I went to the stores and loaded up with as much supplies as I could buy, and kicking in a large chunk of my own money. And after I got off work Thursday night, I started making my way to Fort Lauderdale to deliver the supplies they so desperately needed. It was an incredibly long drive, but when I finally arrived around 4pm on Friday afternoon, the response from those elderly people was humbling. I was told I was an angel, I was kissed and hugged, I was thanked repeatedly. And I couldn't have done nearly as much as I did without those wonderful listeners I have on AKA Radio. I still didn't feel like I did enough, but I was able to buy much needed batteries, candles, charcoal, a few grills, 5 cases of water, canned food, and toilet paper. And let me tell you, when you see someone almost weep after getting a can of Castleburry's Beef Stew or a couple of rolls of toilet paper, it makes you realize just how much it really means to extend a helping hand.

No, we are not "hurricaned out". We just need to know where we can help. And the fact that we do not know is a complete failure that rests squarely on the shoulders of the media for not reporting this travesty. I hope all of you in the media are ashamed of yourselves for not doing more to help the victims of Hurricane Wilma.

Quote for today

2005-11-01T16:41:00.000-05:00

To get what you want, STOP doing what isn't working.
- Dennis Weaver

Today's Quote

2005-10-26T15:30:00.000-04:00

The first requisite for success is the ability to apply your physical and mental energies to one problem incessantly without growing weary.
- Thomas A. Edison

Still at it

2005-10-25T17:25:00.000-04:00

Well, this will be my 11th day of not smoking. It hasn't been easy, but it is getting easier each day. Yes, I still have cravings, but they aren't all that bad any more. And they are nothing like that fourth day. That was mind numbing!

And I have someone who has joined me on this quest too. One of the other managers at AKA Radio has joined me in quitting. Phaedie, you're doing great! Keep it up! I'm really proud of you!

She had told me that if I broke her old record of five and a half weeks, she would join me in quitting. Then she changed her mind and joined me early, and I'm really happy about that.

But I've also promised myself that I won't be one of those former smokers who just go nuts when around smokers, telling them how bad it is, or bitching about it in restaurants and such. Come on, people, you used to smoke! Stop being so tyranical about it! You of all people should know how hard it is to quit, and that, for those who smoke, get a lot of enjoyment from it. Stop pissing on their parade. We have a saying at AKA Radio.. if you don't like what you are hearing, then turn it off. Well, if you don't like being around smokers, then leave. Bitching about it will never get them to stop smoking.

No one bitched at me to quit. Yeah, my mom leaned on me a little, but not hard. And other than my mom, no one really even asked me to quit. I did this for myself. I was tired of waking up in the morning coughing up a lung. I was tired of racing to my pack of cigs the second I woke up in the morning. I was tired of making sure I had a pack with me when I left the house, and making sure that there were enough in that pack to last me until I could either get home, or get somewhere to buy more. I was tired of watching my money burn up, literally. I was tired of finding yet another cigarette burn on my couch, floor, clothes, etc. And I was tired of being a slave to the cigarettes. Bottom line here, I was tired of smoking.

From the counter on the left, at this point, I have already not smoked over 300 cigarettes, and have saved almost $50.00. Money that I can use on other things that mean a lot more to me. Money that can be used on something tangible, or to bring happiness to me and those around me. And not watch yet another dollar go up in smoke.

Quote for today

2005-10-25T16:31:00.000-04:00

Whether you think you can or whether you think you can't, you're right!
- Henry Ford

Breaking The Habit

2005-10-20T15:16:00.000-04:00

Memories consume
Like opening the wound
I'm picking me apart again
You all assume
I'm safe here in my room
(unless I try to start again)

I don't want to be the one
The battles always choose
'Cause inside I realize
That I'm the one confused

I don't know what's worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
I don't know why I instigate
And say what I don't mean
I don't know how I got this way
I know it's not alright
So I'm
Breaking the habit
Tonight

Clutching my cure
I tightly lock the door
I try to catch my breath again
I hurt much more
Than anytime before
I had no options left again

I'll paint it on the walls
'Cause I'm the one at fault
I'll never fight again
And this is how it ends

I don't know what's worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
But now I have some clarity
To show you what I mean
I don't know how I got this
I'll never be alright
So I'm
Breaking the habit
Breaking the habit
Tonight
- Breaking The Habit by Linkin Park

We all have addictions. Things like smoking are easy to talk about. It's pretty easy for me to find a multitude of people who want to encourage me, support me, and do what they can to help during my time of breaking the habit. But this isn't always the case for other addictions we may have in our lives.

I know a lot of my close friends are going through things that are just as hard, if not harder, than trying to quit smoking. And very few people know about these "addictions". Only your very close friends and confidants will ever know you are having a hard time dealing with an issue, overcoming an addiction, breaking a habit.

For those of you who have helped me through this time of change thus far, I truly thank you for your support. For those of you who have been there supporting me, and at the same time, allowing me to know some heavy stuff going on in your life, I hope I am giving you some support too. Some of you are really having a hard time dealing with your "stuff", and I want you to know that I do support you in your time of change too. These are hard times, and sometimes it feels like it's all too much, that there is no end in sight. But there is. And every day, every minute that you can stay away from those things that have you trapped, those bad thoughts, those past unhealthy behaviors, will build your self esteem and make you stronger and more able to be that awesome person that you truly are.

Friends, thank you for helping me with my struggle. Know that I am there for you too. Even if it's just to bust your balls on what you're doing and make you laugh about it. Kinda like gloating in the fact you're having a long drag on your Marlboro...jeh, jeh, jeh.

~peace

Amazing!

2005-10-19T20:27:00.000-04:00

On my way home from work tonight, I stopped by the pharmacy to pick up some maintenance meds I take. While I waited on them to get my order together, I stuck my arm in one of those blood pressure checking machines. My BP has always ran towards the high side, not actually classified as high blood pressure, but borderline high. So I wanted to see if there was any change in the thing since stopping smoking 5 days ago. And I really didn't expect there to be much of a change this soon.

Much to my surprise, it was actually lower! Still not in the normal range, but VERY DAMN CLOSE! Normal BP is 120/80 or lower, and I hit 121/85. Hey, I know that may not be exciting to any of you, but I'm used to seeing it hovering around 135/88. For me, this is FANTASTIC news and I'm really happy with this!

Take pride in the small victories of life!

~peace

It's all about the Five

2005-10-19T18:30:00.000-04:00

Well, according to the ol' counter to the left, I've made it to the five day mark! Not one puff of a cigarette in five days. Wow. I really never thought I could hold out this long. I'm really starting to think I can do this now.

Yes, there are still ups and downs, good times and really hard times. But hell, isn't most of life like this?

I am more powerful than this damn habit. Addiction. Weakness. Whatever you want to call it. And I will defeat this!

Incidentally, every day that passes adds to my self esteem, and makes me feel better about myself. Knowing that I have already made it through some of the toughest parts is empowering!

Oh, and feel free to tune into my radio show tonight at midnight, eastern time! AKA Radio Rocks!

~later

Today's Quote

2005-10-19T12:51:00.000-04:00

Remind yourself regularly that you are better than you think you are. Successful people are not superhuman. Success does not require a super-intellect. Nor is there anything mystical about success. And success isn't based on luck. Successful people are just ordinary folks who have developed belief in themselves and what they do. Never - yes, never - sell yourself short.
- David J. Schwartz

Today has been easier

2005-10-19T12:30:00.000-04:00

Yes, today has been easier. Thank the gods! Yesterday morning was tough. Possibly my toughest so far, other than those initial withdrawals. But I made it through yesterday, and today will be met as the rest have been. One moment at a time. All I have to do, when those cravings hit, is just force myself to give it 15 minutes. If it hasn't passed by then, give it another 15 minutes. Thanks Tig, for teaching me this lesson!

As I mentioned in an earlier post, I've had a lot of support from my AKA Radio family. They continue to show me their support each day. I am asked how I'm holding up, and I am praised for each day that passes without caving in to the overwhelming desire to fail. But another benefit seems to have started emerging. I may have a person or two joining me! I don't know if I have been any kind of inspiration, or what, but if others want to join me in this very hard path, I will welcome the company, and try to give you as much support as I have been shown. It won't be easy, but the benefits are well worth it. As you can see from the counter at the top left, the savings add up rather quickly.

Phaedie, if you are still with me, I'm proud of you! You can do this! You are more powerful than that little white tube! Kick it's ass!

~peace

Keep tabs on me!

2005-10-18T14:04:00.000-04:00

I've added a new feature to this blog that you will see over to the left just below the page title and description. This keeps a running tally of my progress, with how much time has passed, how many cancer sticks I have not smoked, and a running tally of the amount of money I would have spent on lung pollution. Feel free to watch the dollars add up!

Thanks to Phaedie for finding code for my blog site to help keep track of my prograss! <3 Phaedie!!!

Quote for today

2005-10-18T12:11:00.000-04:00

Disciplining yourself to do what you know is right and important, although difficult, is the highroad to pride, self-esteem, and personal satisfaction.
- Brian Tracy

Mornings Suck

2005-10-18T10:57:00.000-04:00

Just woke up on what will be the lead-in to my 4th smoke-free day.

Mornings suck. Body is really craving that morning smoke. I'm fighting this urge really hard. Listening to some good music on AKA Radio, though and I'm heading into a hot shower on this cool morning. Hopefully that will shake the urge by the time I race to work.

Oh yeah, driving without smoking sucks too.

~out

Damn Lazy Programmers

2005-10-18T01:01:00.000-04:00

After looking at the stats on that Stop Smoking Stat Tracker, I realized things weren't adding up right. Then I realized the problem. While whoever programmed it had a place to enter your quit date, he/she failed to provide a place to enter your quit TIME.

Being the crafty program hacker that I am, I found the file the program uses to parse it's stats. After changing the time hard coded from 12AM to 6PM, the stats are closer to correct. And as of 1:00am, here are the current stats on how I'm doing:

Since 10/14/2005, I've been smoke-free for:
3 Days, 7 Hours, 5 Minutes, 14 Seconds.

I have saved $10.80 by not smoking 91 cigarettes.
By not smoking I have added
10 Hours, 44 Minutes, 8 seconds.
to my life expectancy.

Quote

2005-10-17T23:35:00.000-04:00

Quote of the Day:

Believe and act as if it were impossible to fail.
- Charles F. Kettering

And on the Third Day...

2005-10-17T22:55:00.000-04:00

So I'm on my third smoke-free day. The cravings still come, but I don't think they are coming as frequently. The bad moods come, but they pass too. I did get a bit snarky today with a fellow DJ in the chatroom. I apologized later for my rudeness, and I knew I shouldn't have said what I did right after I typed it. I left the room after that because I knew that the lashing out wouldn't stop until the smoking urge had passed. So I took a long hot shower and got myself ready for work.

I tell ya, when that mean streak hits, there is really not much you can do about it other than ride it out. And then beg forgiveness later.

I found a pretty neat web site today to help people quit smoking. It keeps a running total of cost/life savings, as well as a lot of tips to help you quit and stay quit. It's the Stop Smoking Center and has tons of good information. Here is a snapshot of my current "savings".

My Quit Date: 10/14/2005
Smoke-Free Days: 3
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 118
Amount Saved: $13.5
Life Gained:
Days: 0 Hrs: 14 Mins: 4 Seconds: 12

Anyway, I've got another 3 hours of my job ahead of me. I've found the time at my job is some of my hardest times, because so many of my friends smoke here. I have decided that as much as I can, I will still take breaks with them. I just feel like I would be denying myself of something pleasurable by not taking those breaks. I will just take my Eclipse gum or lollipops with me instead. I've also found one of those squishy stress balls in my desk. That helps occupy my hands too.

I WILL GET THROUGH THIS!

~out

50 Hours Ago

2005-10-16T20:34:00.000-04:00

50 hours ago, I made a decision to stop a bad habit. A habit many of my friends share with me. A habit that slowly robs us of being in control of ourselves.

That habit is called smoking.

I am still not sure I will be able to defeat this demon, but I'm giving it my all.

I have been smoking for about 10 years. Not very long by some smoker's standards, but much longer than I ever dreamed I would be stuck in this trap. I had quit once before, with the help of the nicotine patch. And I stayed quit for about 3 or 4 months. Then a pretty heavy event crossed my life, and I bummed a smoke from a friend. Within a week, I was back to over a pack a day. It's a vicious cycle.

That first time I quit, I had made my "quit date" weeks in advance. I crossed off the days until that day hit. I tried to time my last few cigarette pack purchases so that I wouldn't waste them. I told my close friends of my intentions, in hopes I could get support from them. I bought the patch and read the instructions. And it did work, I did quit. I just didn't stay quit.

This time, I did things entirely differently. I didn't set a "date" in stone. I only told one person that I was even thinking about quitting. Until I actually smoked my last one, I didn't even tell anyone that I was trying to quit. I bought a carton about a week ago. Knowing that I usually smoke a pack or a pack and a half a day, I knew that I would run out somewhere around Thursday or Friday. I took my last drag on Friday around 6:00pm Eastern time.

That was about 50 hours ago. I did not use the patch this time. I didn't use the gum or any of the cessation drugs. This time is cold turkey. And FUCK YES, this is hard. I honestly never thought I would be able to hold out this long without some kind of slip. Bumming a smoke off of someone, taking a drag off of someone's already burning cigarette, or digging through my trash can for a butt that might have a drag left in it. But I have thus far resisted. The urge has been absolutely staggering. I have periods of time, this being one of them, that my skin is just constantly tingling, even my scalp. Very similar to the sensation one might get after doing a line or two of coke. (er, so I'm told...Yeah, that's it).

I have been trying to keep myself occupied. Chatting in my radio station's chat room, playing LOTS AND LOTS of Spider Solitaire, listening to a lot of music, playing a lot of music. I had a radio show to do on Saturday. That was very interesting, because I normally smoke twice as much while I'm DJ'ing. Getting through that without a cigarette was quite the challenge. I only screamed a couple of times. Heh. The guests and fellow DJ's and managers at AKA have been very supportive during this time. They let me scream and shout, and still give me bits of encouragement.

So thank you Tigre, tookey, nine, Cinco, phaedie, T-R-O-U-B-L-E, Dreheil, Kyra, Time, Cazz, Geyanna, Grungi, DarkSol, Robovinski and anyone else I might have missed. Please understand my mind isn't working at full speed right now. And I am very sorry to anyone who I might have been short and "assholish" towards. I am normally an asshole, but the past couple of days, I know I've been more of one.

Tonight is my first night back at work. And on the way into the building, there is this huge ashtray sitting right next to the door. I glanced over at it as I came through the door. I actually spotted at least 4 butts that were practically untouched. Just waiting for me to break down and light them. I've resisted for 2 and a half hours so far. Five and a half to go.

Wish me lots of luck. Fifty and a half hours and counting now.

~peace

Love Who You Are

2005-05-10T15:41:00.000-04:00

I am going to put forth an opinion that may prove unpopular in some segments, but on the whole, I doubt it will draw much opposition. First, let me say, I do appreciate a beautiful woman. As a typical man, I do find many of the models and movie and television stars quite attractive. But I also know that these women (and men for that matter) are not the typical person you will generally meet in your daily walk through life. These are the so-called “elite” as far as looks go.

And it has really started to bother me that so many women are unhappy with the way they look, when in reality there is absolutely nothing wrong with their appearance.

I believe, and recent studies have begun to prove, a major contributing factor in this is advertising. We are constantly flooded with the images advertising firms have thrust at us, in television, magazines, movies, the Internet, and other sources. And advertising’s ideal image they throw our way has become increasingly thinner and more unattainable. Twenty years ago, the average model was 8% thinner than the average woman. Today’s model weighs 23% less than the average woman.

Advertising’s narrow message of the contemporary ideal of beauty, that being a seventeen-year old model who at over five feet-nine inches tall weighs less than 120 pounds, has no wrinkles, blemishes, or pores, is an image that can only be obtained by a very narrow segment of the population. And quite frankly, many women are literally killing themselves in trying to reach that flawless and unrealistic illusion created by makeup artists and photographers.

In Naomi Wolf’s book “The Beauty Myth”, she contends that the advertising which features these models first erodes a woman’s self esteem, and then offers to sell it back to her one product at a time. Advertising preys upon insecure adolescents and women who are convinced that if they spend their money on the products advertised they will look like the anorexic models on display.

Well, my friends, enough is enough. I am not saying there is anything wrong with being thin. There isn’t, as long as that is your personal body style. But there also is nothing wrong with you if you don't look like the rail-thin Hollyweird ideal. Yes, obesity is a problem in America, and we all, myself included, should be taking better care of ourselves. But we should be doing it for health, not for appearance. A healthy diet and regular exercise are critical in achieving a long and rewarding life. And I know I could be doing a better job at taking better care of myself. But no one should do it for appearances alone.

Love yourself for who you are, not what you look like.

Cool Stuff Happens All The Time

2005-05-09T01:25:00.000-04:00

You never know where or when it might happen, but every so often, some little event will happen to you when you least expect it that either right then, or later on, you just think, "man, that was cool.". While I was at one of my favorite hang-outs a few days ago, I saw someone that I thought I recognized but really couldn't put my finger on where I knew him from. We struck up a conversation, and then it hit me. This guy is the lead singer for a band that I absolutely love. Several years ago, this was a hugely popular band, and I had seen them several times when they came to my area. And for about an hour or so, I sat there with Dave Lowery, of the band Cracker, sharing a lot of stories and ideas on a variety of topics, over a drink. Dave is incredibly down to earth and a real pleasure to talk with. And it just made my whole night... well... cool.

Sharing the groove

2005-04-11T22:25:00.000-04:00

For about 5 months or so, I've had a little side passion that I really haven't mentioned. But I think it's time to talk about this now, since it doesn't look like it's going to fade away any time soon.

I stumbled across internet radio broadcasting quite by accident. But I found a station that was looking for DJs, so I asked the station manager about it, and a couple of weeks later, I had my first show. I have to tell you, it was a total blast. Yeah, I was nervous as hell on that first show. I planned it for the whole two weeks, putting together a play list, figuring out what I was going to say, and all of that kind of stuff. The show went well, and I took some general ribbing from some of the fellow DJs who were listening in on my first show. It was all in fun, and just goes with "getting your cherry popped", which is how they refer to a new DJ's first show.

After a few months of this, I now don't stress much about it. Hell, half the time, I don't even wake up until about an hour before my show, and throw together my play list at the last minute. And it still turns out pretty well most of the time.

Well, as I said, that was about 5 months ago. And over those five months, for various reasons, I have bounced between several internet radio stations. I have now pretty much settled into one that I will probably stay with for a while. They play a very wide variety of music, and there are a few talk shows as well. The DJ's are all pretty fun, and even there, is a wide range of ages. I think I may be the oldest one there, to be honest with you. But I find that hanging out in the radio chat room and getting to know the others there keeps me abreast of new music and I get to hear things that you just won't hear on the normal radio stations coming over the airwaves. Internet radio does not have to adhere to FCC guidelines, and there is no censorship on what is played. Songs are pretty much uncensored explicit lyrics, and even the DJs are pretty much free to do their shows any way they see fit.

Being a big proponent of freedom of speech, this appeals to me in a big way. But I will even admit that there are times that what comes through my speakers, I don't necessarily agree with. But as the old rallying cry goes, I may not like what you have to say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it. And if it really gets out of hand, and they start broadcasting complete crap, I have every right and ability to hit the "off" button.

One part of me is actually encouraged at some of the younger DJs pushing the envelope a bit, as the freedom the format brings them lets them explore musical genres and forms that they may not otherwise be exposed. And youth being youth, they are going to fully exploit the use of profanity. I really don't mind that either.

But there is another part of me that is sometimes concerned and even very rarely, a bit embarassed that they sometimes fail to show a bit of class and personal restraint in how they handle certain topics. Just because you have the right to say something, doesn't necessarily mean you should. I guess I really can't fault a sometimes lack of better judgement from the more youthful staff memebers. Hell, if I were their age again, I probably woulnd't be any better at making those types of judement calls.

But I will say this for my station. Overall, the staff there is pretty top notch. They are a good group of people who get along well together most of the time, and for the most part, carry off their shows pretty professionally, considering almost all of us are not professional broadcasters/DJs.

If you have a desire to check out the station, or my shows, feel free to drop by. I broadcast under the DJ name of Blue Dragon, and you can hear me on Wednesday nights from 10-midnight, Friday afternoons from noon-2pm, and Saturday afternoons from 4-6pm, all times Eastern. I play mostly classic and southern rock, but will also play a little bit of almost everyting. You just never know what you might hear in The Dragon's Lair. But please check out some of our other tallent as well. They all have something to offer, and may just open your mind to something you didn't even know you like.

If you have WinAmp you can reach the station directly through these two links:
High Speed
Dial Up

If you use another type of media player, simply head over to the web site, and select the appropriate link for your prefered audio program. That would be at AKARadio.

I look forward to all of you tuning in to my shows, and I know the other staff would love to have you join their programs as well. AKA Radio really kicks ass!

Time for a change

2005-04-04T19:34:00.000-04:00

About an hour ago, I was informed by my boss that my work schedule is changing. Currently, I work every weekend, both Saturday and Sunday, until 2a.m. This will be my last week of that. They are giving me Fridays and Saturdays off, which puts me now only working one really late night. After 5 1/2 years on this schedule, I finally get a break on it. I can't begin to tell you how stoked I am with this news! A real weekend off?!?! What to do, what to do?? (rubbing my hands together and letting an evil grin cross my face)

Just checking in

2005-04-02T23:25:00.000-05:00

Okay, so thusfar I have failed miserably in my quest to update this thing more frequently. So yet again, I will post something up here just to have something new to read. A whole lot has happened in my life so far this year, but nothing I really want to put up here for the world to read. Things both happy and not so happy, things that have affected me in ways I never thought they would. But I deal with those on my own time, not here.

Today, Pope John Paul II died. While I am not Catholic, I recognize the importance of this man, and the great things he did during his life. I actually was able to see him about 15 years ago. He visited my college while I was there, and I picked up a job with the L.A. Times to take photos and be a "runner" for them. Somewhere in my vast collection of film and photographs, I have some of the things I shot of his visit. It was a pretty exciting event, and I will probably have a space reserved in hell for this, but being a college kid at the time, a bunch of my friends got together and actually tailgated for the Pope's visit. Any excuse to drink at that time was a good one. One of the coolest things I saw during that was being in the staging area for the media and other groups. While we were having our camera bags and equipment scanned for bombs and sniffed by the doggie cops, I saw the under cover agents getting themselves together. They were all dressed in the same uniforms the normal custodial staff dresses in, with gats strapped under their work clothes. The kids and others on campus had no idea just how many cops were mingling with them. There were even some sub-machine guns being placed in the trash cans on wheels the "janitors" were pushing around with them. Trust me when I say this...The Vatican doesn't mess around when it comes to protecting the Holy Father.

~peace

Bottle update

2005-01-08T21:23:00.000-05:00

I guess I should start my posting habits with an update on an earlier one.

Christmas has now come and gone, and the time spent with my family was enjoyable. I was even able to spend an evening with my best friend from high school, and we had a lot to talk about, catching up on recent events in both our lives. I feel a little bad for keeping him up so late that night, but he didn't seem too concerned with kicking me out and it was really good to get a little more reconnected again.

The drive down and back wasn't even too terrible, as the trip down was pretty uneventful, and the trip back, while threatened with ice, stayed away. However driving back the Sunday after Christmas was a little hectic, as you have so many people on the roads who don't normally drive, and it shows. There were no less than four wrecks along I-85, which caused several slow downs and complete stops.

What I want to know is, why do people feel the need to come to a complete stop along an interstate highway, when the wreck is on the complete other side of the highway, and in no way impedes traffic flow. Come on people, act like you've been in this world longer than 20 minutes. It's a wreck. You aren't going to see body parts strewn over the highway, and even if you did, why would you want to, you morbid, sick fucks? Just drive!

During our traditional Christmas Day food overload orgy and gift exchange, the last gift handed out, was of course, The Bottle. As I mentioned earlier, it was my turn to fill it this year, and I sort of feel like I took an easy way out. I decided to fill it with a multi-colored sand sculpture. I figured, if nothing else, my brother could keep it on his desk at work and it would at least be pretty. I was even proud of the way it turned out, as it looked a bit tye-dyed. Hey, at least it beats filling it with orange juice, which I received last year.

~out

Catching Up

2005-01-08T21:20:00.000-05:00

I know it has been a long time since I updated this site, and I have a lot of catching up to do. Rest assured I will be posting more frequently now that the holidays are over and I have time to settle back into somewhat of a routine.

Another post coming shortly.

~Peace

An Early Birthday Present

2004-12-07T00:24:00.000-05:00

Today was a very happy day for me. There are moments that come in your life, that, while not life changing, make it so that even if the rest of the day isn't spectacular, that moment makes everything else at least bearable.

Today was one of those. For today, I was released from indentured servitude from the loan company that held the title to my car. Yes, today, my car was paid off, and I am free from that monthly payment! Yay for me!!!

The reason I entitled this post as such, is because it wasn't scheduled to be paid off for another 3 months, but I managed to save up enough to get the job done early. And when they handed me the title to the vehicle, there was an admitted bit of weight lifted off of my shoulders, and an extra spring in my step.

And the way my night ended at work, it couldn't have come at a better time. The end of my work night really sucked. I was pissed at the final couple of hours. I ended up having to work over an hour, and I won't get paid for it. But as I was leaving, I picked up the envelope that contained that title, and I got over my pissed-ness a whole lot quicker.

Sometimes, the day smiles.

~later

The Gift That Keeps On Frustrating

2004-12-05T19:41:00.000-05:00

My brother and I have a rather odd sense of humor at times. As all brothers do, we constantly find ways to pick at each other, to frustrate each other, to embarrass each other, you get the idea. Our challenge is to find new and exciting ways to accomplish this goal.

One of the more ingenious ways this was attempted started 10 years ago. It was Christmas, and we had all gathered at my parents house for the traditional changing of the soon-to-be-returned gifts. My brother purposely held off giving me my last item until everyone had opened all of their gifts. Of course this was for dramatic effect, and to make sure he had everyone's attention. So he says, "oh yeah, I forgot, this is yours too," and hands me this last item. I open it to find an old Almaden wine bottle, now empty, with nothing but a gift certificate inside. Now, I'm not sure if you know what those old Almaden wine bottles look like, but you can get a glimpse of it at the Glass Packing Institute web site. The bottle is somewhat bell shaped with an extremely narrow neck. As a matter of fact, this neck is so narrow that you can fit a dime inside, but not a penny. Yeah, now you get the picture.

Well, we had a good laugh about it, and everyone thought I would take the bottle home, shatter it, and grab the gift certificate and be done with it. Oh no, not me. With a friend's help, we managed to fish that son of a bitch out of the bottle without causing any harm to the container. The next year, as Christmas once again approached, I dug the bottle out of storage and proceeded to fill it with golf tees. Again, with the neck so narrow, only one tee will fit down it at a time. And I packed that sucker full. I don't remember now, but there were at least 200 tees inside. I carefully wrapped the bottle back up and presented it to him at the gathering. Of course, I made sure it was the last present opened. Let me tell ya, it was B-E-A-utiful. The expression on his face when he saw it was priceless. First he sees this bottle filled with the golf tees, then it slowly dawns on him that this is the same bottle he gave me the year before. Check and Mate.

Well, I didn't know it at the time, but these two events started a tradition. Every year since, that bottle has gone back and forth between us. It has been filled with things you couldn't even imagine. After about the third year, we made a few ground rules for it. 1) you cannot fill it with anything nasty. No one wants to ruin Christmas, and finding that bottle filled with dog shit, or something equally as vile just wouldn't be a good time. And 2) you cannot fill the bottle with anything that by nature is impossible to remove. This prevents either of us with filling it with cement or foam insulation that hardens when dry. This also gives us some reasonable chance to get the other one back. You can make it difficult to remove, but not impossible.

Some of the things that have made it into the bottle: shredded money from the Federal Reserve, along with a few real bills stuffed into it, just so you won't drop a match into the bottle and burn out the shredded money; filled with nuts, bolts, screws, etc, with a few really difficult pieces like suction cups, magnets and toggle bolts; sample packets of Tagamet and Pepcid; jelly candy and gummi bears, slightly heated to make them stickier; the insides of fortune cookies...hundreds of them. Are you getting the picture people?

A lot of our friends know about this by now. As I said, this started 10 years ago. I have people every year now asking me after the holiday "what was in the bottle this year?" Or before Christmas gets here, they ask, "Who has the bottle?" And every year it gets harder and harder to come up with something new to fill it with. Unfortunately, I have the bottle this year. I have only 20 days left to come up with something to fill that sucker with. At some point now, almost every day, the thought of that bottle will cross my mind. Tonight, I may have finally came up with a couple of ideas. Now I just have to figure out if either of them are practical. And if not, come up with something else. In a hurry.

Be careful in your actions, people, because you never know what is going to catch on and haunt you for the rest of your life. Christmas has always been one of my favorite holidays. Every other Christmas is now even more special, because I know that after I get that bottle filled, I won't have to think about it for another 2 years. It's his problem next year.

~peace out

"Blow" is just an expression

2004-11-29T03:24:00.000-05:00

**Fair Warning, this post contains adult content**

A couple of weeks ago, I was having adult beverages with a friend while talking about life, the universe and everything. Not literally the book this link points to, but you get the idea. During this conversation, an interesting question was posed that somehow got my mind spinning off into new directions. The question was simple, on face value, but when I started considering it further, it got me wondering, what do others think about this.

What was the question, you may be wondering. Quite simply, the question is, "What makes a good blowjob?"

Now, personally, I know the answer to this for myself without even having to think about it. And I answered promptly. I think I may have even taken my companion by surprise when I answered so quickly, but even more surprised when I was able to explain exactly what I meant by it in greater detail, and all the reasons why I felt this quality was the number one deciding factor in what makes the experience of fellatio either good, or just okay.

But before I get into that, I started wondering what others answer to this question might be. So for the past couple of weeks, I have been asking pretty much everyone I know this same question, both male and female. The results have been quite surprising. Now, I didn't take notes or perform this research using standard scientific method. I just asked the question, listened to the answers, and made mental notes about it.

What surprised me the most about this is the difference between the answers men and women gave. The vast, and I mean the VAST majority of men all had pretty much the same answer. Of the 15-20 men I asked, all but three answered the exact same thing. The women's answers were all over the place.

Now, I fully understand most women not really knowing what men want in this. For the simple reason that they've never asked, out of embarrassment, shyness, whatever. I just happen to not care whether I embarrass anyone or make someone feel uncomfortable. Most people who know me know that I will pretty much talk about whatever is on my mind. If it makes you uncomfortable, I feel you are the one who is sexually repressed. Deal with it. By that same token, most men don't know what women really want either, for the same reason.

So what was the overwhelming answer most men gave? Very simple. One word.

Enthusiasm.

That's it, ladies. All you really have to do to make your blowjobs enjoyable for your man, is just make us believe you LOVE doing it. Whether you do or not. As Chris Rock says, "suck it like the antidote is in it. Try to get Robitussin out of it." Put your heart and soul into that act, and we will beg you for more.

The other three answers I got from men were no teeth, don't spit, and play with the jewels. And in all three of those cases, upon further discussion, those three agreed that enthusiasm was more important.

Honestly, I asked women the same question just to see if they were on the same page. Most were not. And I didn't really keep a record of their answers, because when it comes down to it, women's answers to this question isn't important, since they don't have cocks. At least, I hope they don't, because otherwise that will make for a really bad night. I have no interest in finding myself in my own personal Crying Game.

And yes, my answer to this question was in the majority of other men. I don't ask for that much from whomever I happen to be with. Just show me the same enthusiasm for my pleasure as I show for yours. For me, part of my overall sexual enjoyment comes from doing everything I can to satisfy my partner. That makes the whole experience better for me. If I know my partner is ... well... let's just say that it gets me off to know you're getting off. Your pleasure is mine as well.

But what I really want to convey in all of this is that if you really want to know what your partner wants sexually, just ask. We are in the 21st century people. There is no reason to be apprehensive about this, especially if you care at all for the person you are with. And if they absolutely refuse to tell you, then just make them believe that whatever you are doing, you love doing it for them. That goes for men and women. That alone will probably overcome any failings in technique you may have.

~out
***EDIT: Please feel free to add your comments to this post. I would be very interested if you have a different viewpoint.

Home For The Holidays

2004-11-23T19:15:00.000-05:00

Every year around this time, I begin preparing for the long car trip down the interstate to visit the family. This is always a time of mixed emotions for me, as I'm sure many of you out there in Web land can relate to. Don't get me wrong, I love my family, at least my core family. Some of the extended members I could do without. But visiting mom at this stage of my life is always a little awkward. There is the usual flood of questions about my life when I get there, even though we talk on the phone once a week. It's not like we haven't gone over all of this multiple times already.

And then there is my lifestyle. Many moons ago, she used to work the late shift in a factory, so you would think she would understand why I keep late hours. Nope. It's been too many years, and she has forgotten what it's like. And when she was working that shift, she was married and raising babies, so there wasn't a real need to stay up late, unless me or my brother were crying through the night. She still expects me to be "home" at a decent hour and check in with her when I'm there. Well, I'm sorry, but I just don't do that. I do my best to not stay out too late when I visit, but if my evening doesn't happen to be over until 2am or so, well, that's just the way it is. I will tiptoe when I come in so I don't wake her, but she won't get an apology from me for being out "so late".

And then I am sure my brother will need me to work on his computer yet again. I don't really mind, since he is my brother, but just once I would love to go visit without having to do any work. I mean, I am usually taking a vacation day or two to spend with them, it would be nice to actually be ON vacation once in a while and not have to WORK. Isn't that the point of a vacation? And it never fails, that the stuff I have to fix is always the exact same stuff I fixed the last time I was there, and showed him multiple times how to fix it himself. Sure, I know that there are always new viruses and malware out there (see the post on Spyware), but most of this could be taken care of if he would keep up to date on the program updates, and watch closely where he is going on the web. If he notices that after going to a particular site, he gets hit with spyware...DON'T GO BACK THERE.

Really, I do care about my family deeply. They aren't perfect, but neither am I. You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your family. And if I have to be stuck with a group of people for the rest of my life, there are a lot worse out there that I could have been saddled with.

That long drive however is the part I really can't stand. I-95 and I-85 are some of the most boring stretches of highway man has ever laid down. Large expanses of pine trees, and very few towns along the way to even take a peek at as you whiz by. There are a couple of places for limited eye candy, such as Lake Gaston and Falls Lake in North Carolina, and the big peach water tower in Gafney. But it's sad to have to name a damn water tower as a scenic highlight of a trip, isn't it?

Add to that it looks like it's going to be raining the whole time, and no one knows how to drive in the rain. Then, mix in all the people who will be on the road who don't normally drive anyway, and it will be just a freaking joy to navigate this trip. It might not be quite so bad if someone were going with me, just to talk to, sing along with, help pass the time, whatever. But for the past several years, I've been flying solo. It makes things pretty monotonous, and I never look forward to the trip.

The brief glimmering image I try to keep in my head is that great spread of food that will await me on Turkey Day. This is a great holiday. No presents to buy, no fancy decorations to put up, great food, football all day, and no where you have to be by a certain time, at least not too early. And my favorite, a ton of leftovers to take home with me so I don't have to cook for a week. My brother and I will be breaking out the big aluminum pot and deep frying a turkey. We started doing this about 3 or 4 years ago. Mom will still cook her turkey the conventional way. Sometimes I think we are stupid, cooking 2 turkeys for only 4 people. But you know something? It never goes to waste.

And finally all in all, I have a lot to be thankful for. Think back to the founding fathers of this country and their first Thanksgiving. They would have had to kill a wild turkey and pluck it by hand, have whatever veggies they grew in the garden, with some corn meal mash. Bread would have been a luxury. And for dessert, berries and pumpkin pudding. Nope, no pies back then. Refined sugar wasn't widely available until the 1800s. I am thankful that we have brave young men and women defending our freedoms and trying to help establish freedoms for others around the world. I am thankful for all the little luxuries I have, like electricity, a reliable car that I can make this trip, good friends and family, and warm water to shower in every day. My one wish for everyone this year, is for all of you to have a safe and happy feast of thanks. And for once, let's all try to get through just one day without complaining about anything, and truly cherish this holiday.

~peace

White People and Rap

2004-11-18T15:03:00.000-05:00

I'm at my computer listening to Eminem's latest CD, "Encore". My head is bobbing, and I'm rocking back and forth in my chair while I type.

Back in 1979, a catchy little song called Rapper's Delight by Sugar Hill Gang hit the Billboard charts. It was the first hip hop song to break through to the pop charts. Little known to the lower middle class white bread friends and family I grew up with, it was a novelty. We had never heard this type of music, and while we would all go to the skating rink and bounce to it, we still thought, "ah, this is just a fad". But little did we know, this would give birth to Run-DMC, the first rap superstars, who opened the door to a whole new breed of a musical genre. Of course hip hop music was prevalent in the black community before Rapper's Delight crossed over to the mainstream, it's just that our isolated little world had not been exposed to it.

As rap grew in popularity, more and more artists were influenced by it, and it spread to many sectors of the mainstream. In my world, there became a divide among a lot of people I hung with, and keeping in mind that I grew up in the deep south, the majority of opinion with the friends I had then was something along the lines of "I hate rap. That shit sucks." Now, while I didn't hate rap, I didn't listen to much of it either. I was a heavy metal head banger, and that genre just didn't fit in what I wanted to listen to back then.

I heard a comedian once say that he is tired of hearing white people saying, "I don't like rap music, I just don't get it or understand it." His response to that was "IT'S NOT FOR YOU". Now while that is kinda funny, there is a lot of truth to it. The majority of early rap was aimed at the lower income black community, and spoke a lot to what it is like to grow up and live in that environment. It wasn't aimed to win over white people, especially those that didn't live in the harder streets. This was the music of the street. The music of hard struggles and the daily grind of dealing with that life. This was not where I came from, nor many of my friends. Of course it wasn't for me, and it was perfectly okay for me to not listen to a lot of it. I couldn't identify with it. Even in the early 90s, when that atrocity known as Vanilla Ice came out with "Ice Ice Baby", he was pretty much viewed as a joke.

Fast forward to 2000. Rap had grown to phenomenal proportions, and was dominating the pop charts. A lot of the culture had creeped into the mainstream. A friend of mine talked me into listening to ... and I mean really listening ...to a couple of new white rappers, Eminem and Kid Rock. These artists had vastly different styles, one sticking to traditional rap beats, the other mixing the rhythm of southern rock with rap lyrics and hip hop beats. The more I listened to these artists, the more I started appreciating a lot of other rap artists.

And after doing a lot of thinking about why it took a couple of white guys to get me to listen to a wider range of this genre, the more I realized it's because a lot of their lyrics don't just talk about growing up black, but growing up "po' white trash". This, I CAN identify with. This is something I know something about. While I did not grow up in poverty, I certainly didn't grow up rich, either. A lot of my extended family did grow up very poor. A lot of them are still there. A lot of the friends I grew up with were the same. My dad owned a couple of small trailer parks, and while having to help out doing work on those, all of those tenants were poor. To the point they could not afford a monthly rent payment, and paid weekly. And dad knew he had better be there to collect rent on Friday evening, because if he missed them, that money would be gone by Sunday morning.

There are a lot of critics who can't stand Eminem and Kid Rock. They think they are frauds and are somehow stealing black music, capitalizing on it purely for financial gain, or whatever. Well, all I can say is I do not believe either of these artists are frauds. And if they can get a white bread man like me to change my attitude about rap music, opening me up to more diverse realms of culture, then I think they deserve every penny they earn. Stealing black music? Nope, they are bringing a larger audience to accept and embrace it . On Em's last CD, he sampled Aerosmith in one of his songs. On this one, he samples Heart's "Crazy On You". Now that is bridging a divide. Bravo.

~gone

The Demonization of Beauty

2004-11-16T18:54:00.000-05:00

I've been reading several stories today from various news organizations that deal with physical beauty, especially beautiful women. Of course this interests me because I am a man, but the scope of the articles is more to the direction of why many feminists are so opposed to things like beauty pageants and the like. Their argument is largely that these types of events are objectifying women, sexist, (and even more alarming, heterosexist), discriminatory and putting unrealistic expectations on average women.

Well, I don't think that their arguments hold up very well if you really inspect them closely. First and foremost, not one participant in these events is doing so against their will. Far from it, they are willing participants. And how exactly are these events discriminatory? Because they only allow females to enter them? So what? Many feminist functions are limited to women only. Even if there are men who support their cause, at many events, men are not allowed. And you know what? That is perfectly okay. Would these same feminists be so outraged at a planned lesbian event where men are not allowed? Of course not. But that would be discriminatory, would it not? Furthermore, as opposed to being heterosexist, it would be homosexist, but that would be okay for the PC feminists.

As for beauty pageants objectifying women, I would really like to know what is so wrong with celebrating beauty? Should we ban Nobel Prizes because they objectify thought and humanity causes? Should we ban Pulitzer Prizes because they objectify skill at writing and journalism? Should we outlaw the Fields Medal for objectifying mathematics? And I guess the Scripps-Howard Spelling Bees should be wiped off the face of the earth, since they objectify those with a command of language. Of course not. And these are traits that by and large, the contestants are blessed with from birth. People have natural talents in many areas. To celebrate one while demonizing another would be the very definition of discrimination.

And then their final argument is that it puts unrealistic expectations of beauty on average women. Complete crap. First, everyone has a vastly different definition of what they see as beautiful. Want a perfect example of this? Go visit the Am I Hot web site and rate a few dozen people who have posted their photos. Then compare what you rate them with what their overall score is. See how many are rated much higher or lower than what you rated them. Furthermore, just because some pageant or magazine puts something out there as being beautiful does not mean you have to conform. Part of having free will is the ability to decide for yourself whether you want to buy a closet full of Gucci or starve yourself or just scrub your face and wear some no-name jeans and be happy with who you are. If someone is too weak or has such low self esteem that they try to be someone else, well, they are probably already a lot more harmed than some beauty pageant will ever harm them.

Celebrate beauty in all it's forms. Besides, Hooters girls need something to do in their spare time.

~Peace

Uncomfortable Situations

2004-11-14T19:53:00.000-05:00

We've all been there at some point. Everything is swimming along beautifully, then suddenly you find yourself in a situation that, through no fault of your own, is just uncomfortable. You never know when one will jump in front of you. But they happen so often to so many people, that even Hollywood has capitalized on them. Meet The Parents is probably the best example of this. Every single scene in the entire movie made even the viewer a little uncomfortable. Having to meet your girlfriend's parents for the first time is always a little nerve wracking. But the things that happen to Ben Stiller in that movie really push the envelope.

But it isn't limited to just that one event. These things can happen anywhere. I remember back when my ex and I were dating, I was over at her parent's place having dinner. Afterwards we were sitting on the sofa watching T.V. while her mom was putting away the leftovers. Her mom was bent over with her head in the refrigerator, and lets loose with a very audible breaking of wind. I'll be honest, I would have been proud of a fart that had that much resonance and volume. Her mom is laughing inside the refrigerator while the rest of us are pretty much speechless. I mean, yeah, I could have really gone off and embarrassed her even further, "God woman, what the hell did you eat?? Is this what I can look forward to from your cooking?" But I didn't. I sat there fighting back laughter and tears were forming at the corner of my eyes. My girlfriend was turning 14 shades of red, which only made me have to fight the swelling urge to laugh my ass off even worse.

But some uncomfortable situations don't really have a lot of humor tied to them. They are just plain uncomfortable. Such as having a pretty good acquaintance that you enjoy hanging out with at the local watering hole, but yet another patron is a complete drunk asshole, every time they come in. You're sitting there having a beer, shooting the shit, glance back to the door and see this person walking in. You say something like, "dammit, I can't stand so-and-so. They are so fucking obnoxious." Your buddy looks over to see who you're talking about, turns back to you and says, "Yeah. I know. That's my sister." D'OH! What the hell do you say in response to that? Ummm... sucks to be you? And you still CLAIM her? There is no saving grace from that. About all you can say at that point is, Really? Hm. Did you catch that football game last night? And hope you can just forget the whole thing.

These things are endless. You take a girl out on a date, have a great time, catch a good movie, go out for a couple of drinks and some conversation afterwards, are really enjoying the company. Then something totally unexpected happens. It could be anything. Something you said you wish you hadn't said. Something she did you wish she hadn't done. Who knows? Or maybe something like...oh, I don't know...another guy she's going out with turning up in the same place the two of you are. Let me tell you right now... NO GOOD CAN COME FROM THIS. Even if everyone walks away with all of their teeth in tact, the tension it creates is pretty much guaranteed to fuck the rest of your evening. She's going to have to at least talk to him for a minute, he's going to feel fucked up about it, you're going to feel fucked up about it, there is going to be a bit of a power play from someone, for sure. And when all is said and done, if it turns out all good, it's still not all good. It's the kind of thing that will just kind of linger over whatever time you have left in your evening plans. Like the big pink elephant in the middle of the dinner party that no one talks about. Creepy.

Ah hell, as I always say, everything happens for a reason, and it always works out just the way it's supposed to.

This of course is just a umm.. hypothetical situation...yeah, that's it... that's the ticket.

~Out~

Get Over Yourself

2004-11-10T17:13:00.000-05:00

Today I had to attend our company's bi-annual anti-harassment training session. Everyone in the company has to go through this every other year. The information provided was sound, and I don't think anyone should be harassed any time, especially at work.

But I also think people really need to get over themselves. When exactly did this great nation become filled with whiney ass little punks with egos so fragile that you can't even tell a joke or give a compliment without offending someone? When this country was founded, people endured great hardship to make the ocean voyage into this unknown land. They chopped down trees and built houses and farms and barns without even the luxury of electricity. And as the country grew, we pushed west, again enduring months of covered wagon travel, foraging out a meager existence in hopes of a brighter future. Do you think these great founding fathers (and mothers, lest I offend anyone reading this) ever gave a shit about someone telling a slightly off color joke while they are having to plow the back forty with a mule?

Don't get me wrong, I don't think you should go around trying to piss people off or intentionally make fun of someone due to their race, religion, sex, what color socks they are wearing or how often they scratch their butts on a wall. But the environment they are condoning is one in which no one is ever allowed to have any fun at all. And how exactly is this supposed to increase morale? Everyone is too afraid to say the wrong thing or look at someone the wrong way for fear of being brought to HR because their precious feelings got hurt. Grow up. Life isn't fair. And that is the best possible news there is. Because life isn't fair, you are not obligated to take whatever is dealt to you and live with it. You have the ability to take your circumstances and make them better. You have the ability to seek out that which makes you happy and successful. You don't have to bemoan every little comment someone says and make it an issue. How sad of a life do you lead if you are offended by anything that could possibly be taken in a negative connotation?

Personally, I want people around me to have fun and enjoy themselves. I want people to bust my balls, crack on me and my po' white trash family. In general, people know when they cross a line. And I honestly do not think the vast majority of people out there say and do things to intentionally hurt another person. I know I don't.

A good friend of mine recommended a book for me to read a while back. I never did read the book, but I did skim it and agree with the principles whole heartedly. It is on my "to read" list. The book is called The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. Basically it is about how to have personal freedom, and to touch on the major points, the agreements are 1) Be impeccable with your word, 2) Don't make assumptions, 3) Always do your best and 4) Don't take anything personally. These little rules may sound simple, but to actually put them in practice takes a lot of personal work. I truly understand that it is hard to not take things people do or say personally, but in reality what others do or say is not about you. To quote from the book, "Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering." Think about that for a minute. You won't be the victim of needless suffering.

Let it go, people. Get over yourself. Enjoy life. Laugh. Joke. Have fun. Picture your ideal self in your mind, and make it your life's goal to become that person. Be passionate, be loving, and be good to yourself. But for god's sake, lighten up!

Gone.

What Is Friendship?

2004-11-10T02:27:00.000-05:00

Friendship is a term that I feel is thrown around way too freely these days. What is commonly referred to as friendship, is more accurately termed acquaintance. I feel there is a definite line between friendship and a mere acquaintance. I have many acquaintances who I feel pretty close to. But in the grand scheme of things, I have very few people in my life that I would term a true friend. I've heard a couple of definitions lately that, when really thought about hold true.

One is, "A friend will help you move. A true friend will help you move a body.".

The other is, "A friend will bail you out of jail. A true friend will be sitting beside you in jail, saying, 'Man, WE screwed up'."

If you really think about the connotations of both of these scenarios, you will find that both are really accurate. In Bill O'Reilly's book, "Who's Looking Out For You?" , Bill makes the statement, "How many people in your life can you name that would bleed for you?" He assesses that if the number is less than five, you need to find a larger net of friendship. Now, I honestly cannot name five people who I think would bleed for me. But I can name a solid three. And maybe four. I know that if everything else in my life was completely gone to shit, there are three people in the entire world who would do whatever it took to make sure that I would be safe and secure no matter what personal sacrifice might befall them.

I would love to say that I knew five people that would do the same, but I honestly cannot make that statement. But I have to say that I feel truly blessed that I have three people (maybe four) I can turn to if my chips are really down. Do I ever want to put these people in this position? HELL NO! I never want to put those who I treasure as my true friends in any kind of danger or personal sacrifice. But there is a certain comfort in knowing that there are at least three people out there, without any kind of blood relationship or sense of some kind of moral obligation, that there are some real people that I can count on when the chips are really down, when you aren't just crying wolf (as all of us do at some time), who if you really need them, would come through for you, no matter what the cost to them. And the other side of that is, I feel sure, they know I would do the same for them. Without question, without hesitation. If those who are closest to me ever need me, they know I will be there.

I feel that is the true definition of friendship. In order to have a friend, you must be a friend. Of course, there are times in all of our lives when our own self interest get in the way of others' best interest. No matter how good a person is, at some point in their life, they will ask, "What's in it for me?" But I do know that there are at least three people in the world that I would bleed for. And those are the same people who would bleed for me. There may be more, but there are at least three who are not my mother or my brother, who I can depend on, who I can turn to, who I can lean on in my times of weakness, and who would do whatever it took to ensure that I have what I need to make it through another day. I sincerely hope that those people know that I would do the same for them.

Does that mean that those people and I always see eye-to-eye? Absolutely not. This is what I value most in them. That we can have our differences and still respect and even love each other. That we can be our own person and still respect each other enough to know, despite our differences, we are there for each other. I want friends who challenge me. I want friends who have the balls to call me an asshole when I need it. And I treasure friends who have my back.

I am truly blessed.

Sorry to be so sappy, as always, I call 'em like I see 'em.

Out.

LoRyder

MNF

2004-11-08T19:15:00.000-05:00

Ahhh.. football season. The most wonderful time of the year! I for one think that no professional sport season should really be much longer than football season. Of course, I do wish it were longer, but I certainly don't want it to ever slip into the realm of NBA or god forbid baseball. We're already catching basketball pre-season games, and seriously, who really cares about pre-season basketball? Baseball is even worse. Those games start up while snow is still hanging around in many parts of the country and isn't over until the end of October! Are you freakin kidding me? This from a sport where there is only 20 minutes of action in the whole game, but it still takes 4 hours to get it over with. Excuse me while I take a nap. If it weren't for ESPN SportCenter, I would never catch a single baseball game. That 30 second clip will show you EVERYTHING that happened in the entire game, and you can still tell your coworkers, "yeah, that was a great catch" or whatever. And you didn't have to waste your entire evening to see it.

But football! Action on every play, beasts of men running head first into each other and getting the snot smacked out of them. Throwing an oddly shaped ball 50 yards downfield to a guy in double coverage, threading the needle between the defenders, a leaping acrobatic one-handed catch for a huge gain, or better yet a touchdown. Or some 250 pound running back finding a seam in the line, making a quick stutter step to the left and breaking out for a 25 yard pick up, while dragging a couple of linebackers on his heels. A clutch kick with 5 seconds left on the clock, watching it sail 40 yards through the uprights for a spectacular come-from-behind win. This game has it all!

And then there is Monday Night Football. The godsend of the start of the week. Even working the night shift, I'm able to get out of here early enough to catch the second half, and sometimes I can even make the 2nd quarter. And since I work every weekend, Monday is actually my Wednesday, and is the perfect mid-week break I need. Whoever it was that thought up Monday Night Football, a sincere and heart felt thank you!

Beer Wench! Another round!

The Brighter Side of Night

2004-11-07T23:57:00.000-05:00

In an earlier post, I talked about how much the world caters to the day side workers. But to be honest, working nights does have some advantages too. There are fewer "suits" to deal with when you are working, since they are mostly all day people. The working environment is usually a bit more relaxed, and in many cases, you are in control. At least once a week, I am the only person in my department, which means I am my own boss, even though I really don't have anyone I'm supervising but me. There is truly freedom in that, but there is also periods of boredom. A large part of my job, especially on weekends, is waiting for things to break. As long as our systems are running well, there can be a lot of down time. The opposite side of that coin, is that when things do break, I have to have the confidence that no matter what happens, I am capable of fixing it, and fixing it fast. I work in a deadline oriented business, and the pressure is on every single day that our product MUST go out the door. There is absolutely no room for not accomplishing that task. I take that responsibility seriously.

And in talking to a lot of people who work similar shifts, they all agree that they do as well. There are rarely a lot of people to fall back on during the night shifts. The bulk of the brain trust has left for the day, and it is part of your job to do everything you know how to do to fix the problem before having to wake someone up at oh-dark-thirty.

Last night a small group of friends had an impromptu gathering over at my house after we had all gotten off work, or closed down some bar. I was talking with a bartender friend of mine about the best parts of working nights. She agreed that the freedom was a big draw. But another part of the conversation turned to the benefits of the night shift aside from the actual job. It went something like this:

LR: So, other than work, what is the best part of working the night vermin shift?
Her: Hmm... It would have to be the people.
LR: What do you mean?
Her: Well, the people who come in late to the bar, and the people who will hang out with you late are real. There is nothing fake about them. They are down to earth, and for the most part have a lot of common sense.
LR: Yeah, I would agree with that.
Her: I've worked the happy hour shifts a lot. There has always been something just a little fake about that crowd. They are out to impress, to hobnob with other yuppies, and to "network." Don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with making contacts, but .. I don't know...
LR: Yeah, like, you are never quite sure if this person is talking to me because he or she really wants to know me, or whether they are just trying to line up their next sale.
Her: Exactly.

Now, due to the drunken stupor we were all in by this time, I may not have the exact quotations down, but that was the gist of the conversation. And I did a lot of thinking about this today and have to agree, she's right. While there may not be a LOT of places you can go at this hour, the people you do run into truly are "real" people. They have their faults, but the vast majority of them are people who are thinkers and have a good grasp on their beliefs. They aren't afraid to take a stand on an issue. And even if you don't agree with their perspective, they are willing to let those differences be a part of your relationship, not a hindrance. And still buy you a beer.

There seems to be a lot of these little spontaneous gatherings at my house. Some consist of only a couple of close friends. Sometimes there can be 10 or 15 people show up. This particular crown was five. The conversations ebbed and flowed, ranging from Fidel Castro falling on his face to how good a cheap bottle of wine can be. Mixed in with this was a steady beat coming from the stereo, various times where someone would get up and dance for a while, a couple of games of darts, and then falling into playing Texas Hold'em with whatever change you had in your pocket. Poker then changed to Black Jack, when turned to Spades, and then finally, everyone was too drunk to deal the cards.

I love these little spur of the minute parties. There is never any planning involved. As I was leaving work, I told a couple of my best friends who I work with to drop by if they wanted. Once I got home, my phone rang, and a couple more people invited themselves over. I never know when it is going to happen, and sometimes I am too tired to accommodate them, and have to turn them down. I always feel bad when I do, because I know that it's just the night vermin wanting to blow off some steam and are looking for a convenient spot. Been there plenty of times myself. And if I do say no, there may be some initial whining, but generally, they all understand and never hold it against me. Because they know, next time they ask, I'll probably say yes.

I do try to say yes to these gatherings as often as I can because it is always a good time. It can get loud, it can get smoky, it can get really crazy sometimes. Sure, things get spilled, lamps knocked over on occasion, and someone might end up passing out and get a Sharpie taken to their face. Serves them right for passing out in front of a bunch of drunk Vampires (sleep all day, party all night, it's fun to be a vampire). I can usually count on at least one funny incident coming up during one of these. Last night was no exception.

Somewhere around 4am, we all decided we were hungry. Waffle House was the choice, and we started writing down the order. --interesting side note here, the Waffle House closest to us will not take call-in orders between 2am and 5am, I guess because too many of us drunk fucks call it in then pass out before we go pick it up-- Anyway, since I was the most sober one of the group, I had to go pick up this massive 10-pound order of hash browns, scattered smothered and covered, eggs, cheese and various other largely yellow tinted foods. As I'm carting in the three bags and a couple of coffees into the door, I look around the place, and people are laying all over the sofa and huge ass ottoman, when one of the guests shouts to me as I walk in, "LOOK WHAT WE FOUND WHILE YOU WERE GONE! WE'VE BEEN DOING SHOTS!"

And that is when I realized this was not going to turn out well. Held aloft like the Stanley Cup in a toothless hockey player's outstretched arm was my gleaming, now almost empty bottle of Kentucky's Finest Bourbon, Maker's Mark. No. Oh God, NO! In the forty minutes I had taken to drive my ass down to Awful Waffle, put in the order, and haul all this shit back, everyone there was now three-sheets-to-the-wind, shit house drunk. Off of bourbon. Off of REALLY FUCKING GOOD bourbon. One of these said participants in this debauchery was under 100 pounds. And I watched in both awe and horror as this petite thing uncorked the bottle, places it to her lips and turns it straight up. Then turn to me, wobbling just slightly and state quite matter-of-factly, "This is really smooth!"

Sigh. Slight shake of my head. And the only thought that went through my head was... well... guess I'll be holding someone's hair tonight. Fuck it, hand me my cheese steak omelet.

Peace.
LoRyder

If you're brave enough to wear it...

2004-11-06T14:43:00.000-05:00

I caught a brief segment of some show on MTV or something similar which showed one of those fake Hollywood parties. Recently in New York at a birthday bash for hip hop star Sean "P. Diddy" Combs, American Pie actress Tara Reid arrived in a slinky black dress with a fur wrap. When she whipped off the wrap, it took the strap of the dress with it, and out popped her left breast. Now, of course TV threw the blurry box over the exposed breast, but the throng of photographers snapped away at said random boobage. You can see it The Sun Online.

What was interesting about it, as The Sun reports, is that she didn't realize it, and after an assistant helped her out by replacing the fallen strap, she proceeded to bitch out the photographers, telling them she had better not see those photos anywhere. Guess what, you dumb bitch? YOU'RE A FUCKING CELEBRITY and you just showed your left tit to the media! Duh! What did you think they were going to do? Just keep it for their private collection? These people get PAID to be there to capture just such mishaps, you dumbass.

But this got me thinking about a lot of women who wear skimpy clothing. I cannot tell you how many times I've seen a chick in a short skirt or low-cut blouse out in public, who is constantly tugging down on the skirt or re-adjusting the top to try to cover up what they intended to show off in the first place. I mean really, if they weren't trying to flaunt their assets, they wouldn't have put the outfit, let alone ever bought it in the first place. Look, I have ABSOLUTELY no problem with a woman showing a little skin, displaying those wonderful attributes they were so blessed with, but dammit, if you are brave enough to wear it, then please quit trying to pretend to be modest by constantly tugging and prodding on those clothes covering back up. There isn't enough material there to cover up anything anyway, so drop the act. The only thing you are doing by trying to pull that skirt down is bringing more attention to it. And you know, THAT is probably exactly what you are trying to do in the first place. Modesty is highly over rated anyway.

And as long as I'm on this, let me take this a step further. I think every woman has great assets she is blessed with. Some have great legs, some have beautiful eyes, some are warm and caring, some are just a great person inside, or any combination of a myriad of qualities. All of them are unique and beautiful in their own way. And the vast majority I know, either personally or through reading, have some form of self esteem issues. And that is perfectly okay. We all do, on some level. Then there are those with a seemingly lack of self esteem issues that should have them. For me personally, the worst you can see is a woman who thinks she is way hotter than she really is. And proceeds to flaunt parts of her body that should remain covered. I swear to the gods, if I have to see one more physically unattractive, grossly overweight slob in spaghetti straps with enough back fat hanging out to season a 50 gallon tub of collard greens, I'm going to heave. Please understand, I am NOT talking about the women who have a few extra pounds, or are not anorexic thin, I'm talking about the ones who are so obese they are a walking heart attack waiting to happen. Come on, ladies, this is just uncalled for.

You're out at a restaurant, hanging with friends, having a good time, when suddenly the hostess escorts a group of people past your table and all you can see is rolls of skin tumbling out of some gold lame` top and a thigh so big it would put a 30-pound Virginia smoked ham to shame.

MY EYES, MY EYES, IT BURNS!!! Jesus H. Christ, did you look in the mirror before you left the house?

Look, I am all for a strong, confident woman who is secure with herself, but dammit, give it a rest! Did you think, "well, I'm more overweight than a cross country transfer truck on a 3 day haul, but fuck it, if I show enough skin, there will be some slob out there who is drunk enough to fuck me" ??? NEWS FLASH: Most self respecting men are going to turn away in disgust. There are plenty of clothes out there that will cover up most of your excess flesh and still make you look sexy. Just do a Google search on plus size clothing, you will find thousands of great stores that cater to you! The sad part of this is, there probably IS some drunk slob who will bed you. Thanks, dumbass, you're only encouraging this behavior.

Did I mention that I am NOT politically correct? I call 'em like I see 'em.

Gone.

Day People

2004-11-05T02:06:00.000-05:00

The world is changing. Duh. I know, bold statement there. But specifically, the world is changing from the so-called "bankers hours" to a more wide ranging realm of hours that the every day person works. I do not work a standard nine-to-five schedule. As a matter of fact, a lot of my working hours are in the late and very late evening. I still have some friends and acquaintences who work those regular hours, and to be honest, they piss me off. The bulk of the world still caters to those who work regular hours, and ignore those of us who follow a different schedule. They get up early, the go to bed early, they can go have a drink and socialize after work with friends, they can go shopping at normal stores, and a plethora of other options that are not available to people like me.

But for your information, it is those of us who do work the late hours that keep this economy running smoothly and provide you with conveniences that you don't even consider. Your morning newspaper is produced at night. The deliveries to your stores happen at night so that your milk and eggs will be at your grocery store when you get there in the morning...or the afternoon. Shelves are stocked, streets are sweeped, the emergency room is staffed, and your local watering holes are manned, all for your convenience, by those of us who take up the torch to keep life as you know it running.

But have any of you ever thought about those of us who make your life a little easier? Hell no. Never once has a day person even thought about this aspect of their life. And when our shifts are done, what do we have to look forward to? Pretty much nothing. Bars close, at least in my area, at 2am, which is exactly when I get off work on weekends. So there is nowhere for people like me to go have a drink with friends after work. Restaurants close up, so we have to go to Waffle House or convenience stores to even get some food. On the rare occasion that you can actually make it out somewhere on your weekend and by some act of the gods meet someone you want to spend some time with, they inevitably crash on you way too early, leaving you alone yet again. Shopping? Well, if there isn't a 24-hour Wal-Mart in your area, you're pretty much fucked.

Yes, the world still caters to the day people. And I for one think this is an area of social life that is ripe for the picking. If some savvy entropreneurs out there would tap the night side market, you could find yourself with a gold mine on your hands. Sure there are a couple of "after hours" clubs here and there. Most of them charge a $50 per year membership fee, and still over charge for the drinks, and quite frankly those clubs are just a bit too far on the seedy side for me to ever feel really comfortable in them. Don't get me wrong, I don't hate day people. Hell, I envy them. I just wish there were more out there for us night vermin to participate in so that we wouldn't feel like such social outcasts. After all, I know it is us who help make your life a little better. Even if you never think about it.

Spyware

2004-11-04T13:51:00.000-05:00

I am a geek. Yes, a professional geek. I learned long ago, in another life, so to speak, that to be considered a professional at anything, at least half of your income must come from the work you do in your chosen profession. So for instance, if you say you are a professional photographer, at least half of your income must come from photography to be considered a professional. Therefore, I am a professional geek. I work on computers. All kinds. From the common home desktop box to Unix servers. I pretty much do it all, and currently almost all of my income comes from computers.

The current bane of computer work is what is commonly called spyware. Also, it is known as malware, adware, popup ads, etc. These little programs that seemingly come out of thin air to infect and weave their way into the deep recesses of your computer that perform a variety of functions, from stealing your credit card numbers, to delivering tailored ads directly to your desktop, in hopes you will buy the products being offered. Basically, they are just a pain in the ass. The only real function they serve is to slow down your computer to a crawl and make the entire experience of computing so frustrating that many give up on the whole thing entirely. This is a shame. I find computers both fun and functional. After all, they do allow me to pay most of my bills, somewhat on time.

Admittedly, I have a love/hate relationship with spyware. Currently, I am making some pretty decent money from cleaning up computers for people who are severly infected by this crap. Were it not for the near epidemic spread of this stuff, I wouldn't be able to afford some of the luxuries I currently enjoy. But I also think this type of stuff should be contained in some way. I really have no clue as to how to stop this stuff. The programmers who are writing these programs are some of the best I've seen. Nowdays, you don't even have to know you are installing this stuff. It can come from what I call "drive by web sites", where you are surfing around, hit some web site from random surfing, and the next thing you know, WHAM, you are suddenly loaded with spyware, without ever having to click a "yes" I want to install this to enhance my experience, or whatever. Pretty sneaky stuff.

And even more frustrating is the spyware that installs just to direct you to their site so that you can pay to use their spyware removal tool to uninstall what THEY INSTALLED in the first place! Man, that is just evil. I currently have about four tools in my bag of tricks to remove most of the spyware currently on the market, and I have to constantly update the definition files to combat all of the new stuff that comes out almost daily. There is spyware out there now that sits in memory looking for the same tools I use and it kills the removal tools before they can even get started. Spyware killer killers, if you will.

I don't know what the answer is, and all I can do is continue to battle the beast. And yes, what got me thinking about all of this today, is that my own system got hit with a flood this morning. My fault completely. I was barely awake when I hit a site that I ... well... I made a dumbass move and actually installed something I shouldn't have. WHAM! I knew it immediately. So for the next 45 mintues, I was doing deep registry scans of my system and removing the 350 pieces of spyware I was able to infect myself with in a mere 3 minutes. Amazing.

Fortunately, I am skilled enough to take care of this. There are a lot of people out there who are not. They will either find a "friend who knows computers" to help them out, hire someone like me to take care of it for them, or just live with the garbage and hope for the best. That latter group will often get so frustrated with the popups and slow systems they fall out of favor with computing as a whole, and that is really sad. I wish all of you out there the best of luck, but I can tell you from doing this day after day, you are probably already infected. And it's only going to get worse in the near future.

Gone.
LoRyder

Let's get it started

2004-11-03T17:16:00.000-05:00

To kick this blog off, I want to reflect on yesterday's presidential election and the reaction I've heard today.

First and foremost, it should be noted that I adhere to neither major political party. I am more closely aligned with the libertarians than anything else, but even at that I am not a die-hard. My political views are more closely aligned with conservatives, of the two major parties, but I do stray on several issues.

In the 2000 election, for 38 days after, and still to this day, Democrats say Bush "stole" the election. The Supreme Court "gave" the presidency to Bush. None of this is further from the truth. Bush won the election, even the liberal L.A. Times extensive recount scenarios proved, there was no way Gore would have won, if they had still been recounting today. Now that this one is pretty much in the books, will all of you Democrats PLEASE shut up about it?

The 2004 election again went down to the wire, with Bush again winning, and Ohio being the deciding state this year instead of Florida. But the larger picture from the nation as a whole, is that Bush captured about 51% of the popular vote. Not since Regan was in office has any president captured a true majority of the vote. Not even Clinton could do this, so I think the nation has indeed spoken. While not an overwhelming victory, and still showing the nation is pretty much a 50-50 split, it is no longer up for debate, at least in my opinion, who the president of this great nation is. Bush not only won the electoral vote, he won the popular vote by at least 3.5 million voters.

Listening to people discuss this today has been pretty interesting. Liberals and Democrats (the two are not necessarily the same) lament the loss has been pretty amusing. Everything from "I can't believe Americans are so stupid" to "well, kids, hope you like the desert, because the draft is coming!" I mean, seriously, what the fuck? OH GOD! Bush won! We're all going to DIE! Get a life.

I do not think Bush is the greatest president of our time. I wasn't even particularly satisfied that our two main choices were barely distiguishable from each other. But if you actually analyze the rhetoric both candidates were spewing over the past few months, Kerry was clearly careening wildly off every cliff he came to. For everything he was promising, and I do mean EVERYTHING, two things became painfully clear. One, there is no way he could get all of that done in four years, or even eight, on the slim chance he could get re-elected. And two, there was no way he could pay for everything he was promising without significantly raising taxes, not just on the "rich", but on everyone. This is my biggest problem with democrats. They want to give everything to everyone, with no way to pay for all of it. Government does not have ANY money. Any money the government uses to do anything comes directly out of the pockets of taxpayers. That means me and you, boys and girls. Sure, republicans are not a whole lot better, at least not the current batch of republicans we have available, but at least they don't blow THAT much smoke up my ass!

And speaking of trying to give everything to everyone, why do you think the democrats even go down that road? Because we, as whiny ass Americans that we are, keep asking for someone to take care of us. Jesus fucking christ, people, grow a backbone! Stand up for yourself, fend for yourself, stop expecting the government to be your new mommy! Do you realize that, counting social security and medicare payments, sales and usage taxes, federal, state and property taxes, over 50% of your income goes directly to the government? Half of every dollar you make! HALF! If you actually had to write the government a check every month for the total taxes you owe, this country would be in a state of rebellion right now. But since the kinder gentler government takes even that burden off of you, and deducts most of it straight from your paycheck before you get your greedy little hands on it, you don't even miss the money they are stealing from you. And still they want to raise taxes almost yearly. It blows my mind. It should blow yours. But will it? Nope. You will continue to go about your daily lives never even thinking about where all your money is going. And when you fill out your taxes next April, you will be absolutely ecstatic when you get a refund. A refund?!?! This is money the government took from you that they never should have had in the first place, used it for a year, gotten interest off of it, or bought another $800 toilet seat, and then said, oops, sorry, here's the money I stole from you back. And do you bitch slap them? Do you prosecute them for the theft? Hell no, you THANK them! You APPRECIATE being robbed.

Okay, that's enough for now. This is just where my random thoughts took me today.

Peace out.
LoRyder