**Fair Warning, this post contains adult content**
A couple of weeks ago, I was having adult beverages with a friend while talking about life, the universe and everything. Not literally the book this link points to, but you get the idea. During this conversation, an interesting question was posed that somehow got my mind spinning off into new directions. The question was simple, on face value, but when I started considering it further, it got me wondering, what do others think about this.
What was the question, you may be wondering. Quite simply, the question is, "What makes a good blowjob?"
Now, personally, I know the answer to this for myself without even having to think about it. And I answered promptly. I think I may have even taken my companion by surprise when I answered so quickly, but even more surprised when I was able to explain exactly what I meant by it in greater detail, and all the reasons why I felt this quality was the number one deciding factor in what makes the experience of fellatio either good, or just okay.
But before I get into that, I started wondering what others answer to this question might be. So for the past couple of weeks, I have been asking pretty much everyone I know this same question, both male and female. The results have been quite surprising. Now, I didn't take notes or perform this research using standard scientific method. I just asked the question, listened to the answers, and made mental notes about it.
What surprised me the most about this is the difference between the answers men and women gave. The vast, and I mean the VAST majority of men all had pretty much the same answer. Of the 15-20 men I asked, all but three answered the exact same thing. The women's answers were all over the place.
Now, I fully understand most women not really knowing what men want in this. For the simple reason that they've never asked, out of embarrassment, shyness, whatever. I just happen to not care whether I embarrass anyone or make someone feel uncomfortable. Most people who know me know that I will pretty much talk about whatever is on my mind. If it makes you uncomfortable, I feel you are the one who is sexually repressed. Deal with it. By that same token, most men don't know what women really want either, for the same reason.
So what was the overwhelming answer most men gave? Very simple. One word.
Enthusiasm.
That's it, ladies. All you really have to do to make your blowjobs enjoyable for your man, is just make us believe you LOVE doing it. Whether you do or not. As Chris Rock says, "suck it like the antidote is in it. Try to get Robitussin out of it." Put your heart and soul into that act, and we will beg you for more.
The other three answers I got from men were no teeth, don't spit, and play with the jewels. And in all three of those cases, upon further discussion, those three agreed that enthusiasm was more important.
Honestly, I asked women the same question just to see if they were on the same page. Most were not. And I didn't really keep a record of their answers, because when it comes down to it, women's answers to this question isn't important, since they don't have cocks. At least, I hope they don't, because otherwise that will make for a really bad night. I have no interest in finding myself in my own personal Crying Game.
And yes, my answer to this question was in the majority of other men. I don't ask for that much from whomever I happen to be with. Just show me the same enthusiasm for my pleasure as I show for yours. For me, part of my overall sexual enjoyment comes from doing everything I can to satisfy my partner. That makes the whole experience better for me. If I know my partner is ... well... let's just say that it gets me off to know you're getting off. Your pleasure is mine as well.
But what I really want to convey in all of this is that if you really want to know what your partner wants sexually, just ask. We are in the 21st century people. There is no reason to be apprehensive about this, especially if you care at all for the person you are with. And if they absolutely refuse to tell you, then just make them believe that whatever you are doing, you love doing it for them. That goes for men and women. That alone will probably overcome any failings in technique you may have.
~out
***EDIT: Please feel free to add your comments to this post. I would be very interested if you have a different viewpoint.
Monday, November 29, 2004
Tuesday, November 23, 2004
Home For The Holidays
Every year around this time, I begin preparing for the long car trip down the interstate to visit the family. This is always a time of mixed emotions for me, as I'm sure many of you out there in Web land can relate to. Don't get me wrong, I love my family, at least my core family. Some of the extended members I could do without. But visiting mom at this stage of my life is always a little awkward. There is the usual flood of questions about my life when I get there, even though we talk on the phone once a week. It's not like we haven't gone over all of this multiple times already.
And then there is my lifestyle. Many moons ago, she used to work the late shift in a factory, so you would think she would understand why I keep late hours. Nope. It's been too many years, and she has forgotten what it's like. And when she was working that shift, she was married and raising babies, so there wasn't a real need to stay up late, unless me or my brother were crying through the night. She still expects me to be "home" at a decent hour and check in with her when I'm there. Well, I'm sorry, but I just don't do that. I do my best to not stay out too late when I visit, but if my evening doesn't happen to be over until 2am or so, well, that's just the way it is. I will tiptoe when I come in so I don't wake her, but she won't get an apology from me for being out "so late".
And then I am sure my brother will need me to work on his computer yet again. I don't really mind, since he is my brother, but just once I would love to go visit without having to do any work. I mean, I am usually taking a vacation day or two to spend with them, it would be nice to actually be ON vacation once in a while and not have to WORK. Isn't that the point of a vacation? And it never fails, that the stuff I have to fix is always the exact same stuff I fixed the last time I was there, and showed him multiple times how to fix it himself. Sure, I know that there are always new viruses and malware out there (see the post on Spyware), but most of this could be taken care of if he would keep up to date on the program updates, and watch closely where he is going on the web. If he notices that after going to a particular site, he gets hit with spyware...DON'T GO BACK THERE.
Really, I do care about my family deeply. They aren't perfect, but neither am I. You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your family. And if I have to be stuck with a group of people for the rest of my life, there are a lot worse out there that I could have been saddled with.
That long drive however is the part I really can't stand. I-95 and I-85 are some of the most boring stretches of highway man has ever laid down. Large expanses of pine trees, and very few towns along the way to even take a peek at as you whiz by. There are a couple of places for limited eye candy, such as Lake Gaston and Falls Lake in North Carolina, and the big peach water tower in Gafney. But it's sad to have to name a damn water tower as a scenic highlight of a trip, isn't it?
Add to that it looks like it's going to be raining the whole time, and no one knows how to drive in the rain. Then, mix in all the people who will be on the road who don't normally drive anyway, and it will be just a freaking joy to navigate this trip. It might not be quite so bad if someone were going with me, just to talk to, sing along with, help pass the time, whatever. But for the past several years, I've been flying solo. It makes things pretty monotonous, and I never look forward to the trip.
The brief glimmering image I try to keep in my head is that great spread of food that will await me on Turkey Day. This is a great holiday. No presents to buy, no fancy decorations to put up, great food, football all day, and no where you have to be by a certain time, at least not too early. And my favorite, a ton of leftovers to take home with me so I don't have to cook for a week. My brother and I will be breaking out the big aluminum pot and deep frying a turkey. We started doing this about 3 or 4 years ago. Mom will still cook her turkey the conventional way. Sometimes I think we are stupid, cooking 2 turkeys for only 4 people. But you know something? It never goes to waste.
And finally all in all, I have a lot to be thankful for. Think back to the founding fathers of this country and their first Thanksgiving. They would have had to kill a wild turkey and pluck it by hand, have whatever veggies they grew in the garden, with some corn meal mash. Bread would have been a luxury. And for dessert, berries and pumpkin pudding. Nope, no pies back then. Refined sugar wasn't widely available until the 1800s. I am thankful that we have brave young men and women defending our freedoms and trying to help establish freedoms for others around the world. I am thankful for all the little luxuries I have, like electricity, a reliable car that I can make this trip, good friends and family, and warm water to shower in every day. My one wish for everyone this year, is for all of you to have a safe and happy feast of thanks. And for once, let's all try to get through just one day without complaining about anything, and truly cherish this holiday.
~peace
And then there is my lifestyle. Many moons ago, she used to work the late shift in a factory, so you would think she would understand why I keep late hours. Nope. It's been too many years, and she has forgotten what it's like. And when she was working that shift, she was married and raising babies, so there wasn't a real need to stay up late, unless me or my brother were crying through the night. She still expects me to be "home" at a decent hour and check in with her when I'm there. Well, I'm sorry, but I just don't do that. I do my best to not stay out too late when I visit, but if my evening doesn't happen to be over until 2am or so, well, that's just the way it is. I will tiptoe when I come in so I don't wake her, but she won't get an apology from me for being out "so late".
And then I am sure my brother will need me to work on his computer yet again. I don't really mind, since he is my brother, but just once I would love to go visit without having to do any work. I mean, I am usually taking a vacation day or two to spend with them, it would be nice to actually be ON vacation once in a while and not have to WORK. Isn't that the point of a vacation? And it never fails, that the stuff I have to fix is always the exact same stuff I fixed the last time I was there, and showed him multiple times how to fix it himself. Sure, I know that there are always new viruses and malware out there (see the post on Spyware), but most of this could be taken care of if he would keep up to date on the program updates, and watch closely where he is going on the web. If he notices that after going to a particular site, he gets hit with spyware...DON'T GO BACK THERE.
Really, I do care about my family deeply. They aren't perfect, but neither am I. You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your family. And if I have to be stuck with a group of people for the rest of my life, there are a lot worse out there that I could have been saddled with.
That long drive however is the part I really can't stand. I-95 and I-85 are some of the most boring stretches of highway man has ever laid down. Large expanses of pine trees, and very few towns along the way to even take a peek at as you whiz by. There are a couple of places for limited eye candy, such as Lake Gaston and Falls Lake in North Carolina, and the big peach water tower in Gafney. But it's sad to have to name a damn water tower as a scenic highlight of a trip, isn't it?
Add to that it looks like it's going to be raining the whole time, and no one knows how to drive in the rain. Then, mix in all the people who will be on the road who don't normally drive anyway, and it will be just a freaking joy to navigate this trip. It might not be quite so bad if someone were going with me, just to talk to, sing along with, help pass the time, whatever. But for the past several years, I've been flying solo. It makes things pretty monotonous, and I never look forward to the trip.
The brief glimmering image I try to keep in my head is that great spread of food that will await me on Turkey Day. This is a great holiday. No presents to buy, no fancy decorations to put up, great food, football all day, and no where you have to be by a certain time, at least not too early. And my favorite, a ton of leftovers to take home with me so I don't have to cook for a week. My brother and I will be breaking out the big aluminum pot and deep frying a turkey. We started doing this about 3 or 4 years ago. Mom will still cook her turkey the conventional way. Sometimes I think we are stupid, cooking 2 turkeys for only 4 people. But you know something? It never goes to waste.
And finally all in all, I have a lot to be thankful for. Think back to the founding fathers of this country and their first Thanksgiving. They would have had to kill a wild turkey and pluck it by hand, have whatever veggies they grew in the garden, with some corn meal mash. Bread would have been a luxury. And for dessert, berries and pumpkin pudding. Nope, no pies back then. Refined sugar wasn't widely available until the 1800s. I am thankful that we have brave young men and women defending our freedoms and trying to help establish freedoms for others around the world. I am thankful for all the little luxuries I have, like electricity, a reliable car that I can make this trip, good friends and family, and warm water to shower in every day. My one wish for everyone this year, is for all of you to have a safe and happy feast of thanks. And for once, let's all try to get through just one day without complaining about anything, and truly cherish this holiday.
~peace
Thursday, November 18, 2004
White People and Rap
I'm at my computer listening to Eminem's latest CD, "Encore". My head is bobbing, and I'm rocking back and forth in my chair while I type.
Back in 1979, a catchy little song called Rapper's Delight by Sugar Hill Gang hit the Billboard charts. It was the first hip hop song to break through to the pop charts. Little known to the lower middle class white bread friends and family I grew up with, it was a novelty. We had never heard this type of music, and while we would all go to the skating rink and bounce to it, we still thought, "ah, this is just a fad". But little did we know, this would give birth to Run-DMC, the first rap superstars, who opened the door to a whole new breed of a musical genre. Of course hip hop music was prevalent in the black community before Rapper's Delight crossed over to the mainstream, it's just that our isolated little world had not been exposed to it.
As rap grew in popularity, more and more artists were influenced by it, and it spread to many sectors of the mainstream. In my world, there became a divide among a lot of people I hung with, and keeping in mind that I grew up in the deep south, the majority of opinion with the friends I had then was something along the lines of "I hate rap. That shit sucks." Now, while I didn't hate rap, I didn't listen to much of it either. I was a heavy metal head banger, and that genre just didn't fit in what I wanted to listen to back then.
I heard a comedian once say that he is tired of hearing white people saying, "I don't like rap music, I just don't get it or understand it." His response to that was "IT'S NOT FOR YOU". Now while that is kinda funny, there is a lot of truth to it. The majority of early rap was aimed at the lower income black community, and spoke a lot to what it is like to grow up and live in that environment. It wasn't aimed to win over white people, especially those that didn't live in the harder streets. This was the music of the street. The music of hard struggles and the daily grind of dealing with that life. This was not where I came from, nor many of my friends. Of course it wasn't for me, and it was perfectly okay for me to not listen to a lot of it. I couldn't identify with it. Even in the early 90s, when that atrocity known as Vanilla Ice came out with "Ice Ice Baby", he was pretty much viewed as a joke.
Fast forward to 2000. Rap had grown to phenomenal proportions, and was dominating the pop charts. A lot of the culture had creeped into the mainstream. A friend of mine talked me into listening to ... and I mean really listening ...to a couple of new white rappers, Eminem and Kid Rock. These artists had vastly different styles, one sticking to traditional rap beats, the other mixing the rhythm of southern rock with rap lyrics and hip hop beats. The more I listened to these artists, the more I started appreciating a lot of other rap artists.
And after doing a lot of thinking about why it took a couple of white guys to get me to listen to a wider range of this genre, the more I realized it's because a lot of their lyrics don't just talk about growing up black, but growing up "po' white trash". This, I CAN identify with. This is something I know something about. While I did not grow up in poverty, I certainly didn't grow up rich, either. A lot of my extended family did grow up very poor. A lot of them are still there. A lot of the friends I grew up with were the same. My dad owned a couple of small trailer parks, and while having to help out doing work on those, all of those tenants were poor. To the point they could not afford a monthly rent payment, and paid weekly. And dad knew he had better be there to collect rent on Friday evening, because if he missed them, that money would be gone by Sunday morning.
There are a lot of critics who can't stand Eminem and Kid Rock. They think they are frauds and are somehow stealing black music, capitalizing on it purely for financial gain, or whatever. Well, all I can say is I do not believe either of these artists are frauds. And if they can get a white bread man like me to change my attitude about rap music, opening me up to more diverse realms of culture, then I think they deserve every penny they earn. Stealing black music? Nope, they are bringing a larger audience to accept and embrace it . On Em's last CD, he sampled Aerosmith in one of his songs. On this one, he samples Heart's "Crazy On You". Now that is bridging a divide. Bravo.
~gone
Back in 1979, a catchy little song called Rapper's Delight by Sugar Hill Gang hit the Billboard charts. It was the first hip hop song to break through to the pop charts. Little known to the lower middle class white bread friends and family I grew up with, it was a novelty. We had never heard this type of music, and while we would all go to the skating rink and bounce to it, we still thought, "ah, this is just a fad". But little did we know, this would give birth to Run-DMC, the first rap superstars, who opened the door to a whole new breed of a musical genre. Of course hip hop music was prevalent in the black community before Rapper's Delight crossed over to the mainstream, it's just that our isolated little world had not been exposed to it.
As rap grew in popularity, more and more artists were influenced by it, and it spread to many sectors of the mainstream. In my world, there became a divide among a lot of people I hung with, and keeping in mind that I grew up in the deep south, the majority of opinion with the friends I had then was something along the lines of "I hate rap. That shit sucks." Now, while I didn't hate rap, I didn't listen to much of it either. I was a heavy metal head banger, and that genre just didn't fit in what I wanted to listen to back then.
I heard a comedian once say that he is tired of hearing white people saying, "I don't like rap music, I just don't get it or understand it." His response to that was "IT'S NOT FOR YOU". Now while that is kinda funny, there is a lot of truth to it. The majority of early rap was aimed at the lower income black community, and spoke a lot to what it is like to grow up and live in that environment. It wasn't aimed to win over white people, especially those that didn't live in the harder streets. This was the music of the street. The music of hard struggles and the daily grind of dealing with that life. This was not where I came from, nor many of my friends. Of course it wasn't for me, and it was perfectly okay for me to not listen to a lot of it. I couldn't identify with it. Even in the early 90s, when that atrocity known as Vanilla Ice came out with "Ice Ice Baby", he was pretty much viewed as a joke.
Fast forward to 2000. Rap had grown to phenomenal proportions, and was dominating the pop charts. A lot of the culture had creeped into the mainstream. A friend of mine talked me into listening to ... and I mean really listening ...to a couple of new white rappers, Eminem and Kid Rock. These artists had vastly different styles, one sticking to traditional rap beats, the other mixing the rhythm of southern rock with rap lyrics and hip hop beats. The more I listened to these artists, the more I started appreciating a lot of other rap artists.
And after doing a lot of thinking about why it took a couple of white guys to get me to listen to a wider range of this genre, the more I realized it's because a lot of their lyrics don't just talk about growing up black, but growing up "po' white trash". This, I CAN identify with. This is something I know something about. While I did not grow up in poverty, I certainly didn't grow up rich, either. A lot of my extended family did grow up very poor. A lot of them are still there. A lot of the friends I grew up with were the same. My dad owned a couple of small trailer parks, and while having to help out doing work on those, all of those tenants were poor. To the point they could not afford a monthly rent payment, and paid weekly. And dad knew he had better be there to collect rent on Friday evening, because if he missed them, that money would be gone by Sunday morning.
There are a lot of critics who can't stand Eminem and Kid Rock. They think they are frauds and are somehow stealing black music, capitalizing on it purely for financial gain, or whatever. Well, all I can say is I do not believe either of these artists are frauds. And if they can get a white bread man like me to change my attitude about rap music, opening me up to more diverse realms of culture, then I think they deserve every penny they earn. Stealing black music? Nope, they are bringing a larger audience to accept and embrace it . On Em's last CD, he sampled Aerosmith in one of his songs. On this one, he samples Heart's "Crazy On You". Now that is bridging a divide. Bravo.
~gone
Tuesday, November 16, 2004
The Demonization of Beauty
I've been reading several stories today from various news organizations that deal with physical beauty, especially beautiful women. Of course this interests me because I am a man, but the scope of the articles is more to the direction of why many feminists are so opposed to things like beauty pageants and the like. Their argument is largely that these types of events are objectifying women, sexist, (and even more alarming, heterosexist), discriminatory and putting unrealistic expectations on average women.
Well, I don't think that their arguments hold up very well if you really inspect them closely. First and foremost, not one participant in these events is doing so against their will. Far from it, they are willing participants. And how exactly are these events discriminatory? Because they only allow females to enter them? So what? Many feminist functions are limited to women only. Even if there are men who support their cause, at many events, men are not allowed. And you know what? That is perfectly okay. Would these same feminists be so outraged at a planned lesbian event where men are not allowed? Of course not. But that would be discriminatory, would it not? Furthermore, as opposed to being heterosexist, it would be homosexist, but that would be okay for the PC feminists.
As for beauty pageants objectifying women, I would really like to know what is so wrong with celebrating beauty? Should we ban Nobel Prizes because they objectify thought and humanity causes? Should we ban Pulitzer Prizes because they objectify skill at writing and journalism? Should we outlaw the Fields Medal for objectifying mathematics? And I guess the Scripps-Howard Spelling Bees should be wiped off the face of the earth, since they objectify those with a command of language. Of course not. And these are traits that by and large, the contestants are blessed with from birth. People have natural talents in many areas. To celebrate one while demonizing another would be the very definition of discrimination.
And then their final argument is that it puts unrealistic expectations of beauty on average women. Complete crap. First, everyone has a vastly different definition of what they see as beautiful. Want a perfect example of this? Go visit the Am I Hot web site and rate a few dozen people who have posted their photos. Then compare what you rate them with what their overall score is. See how many are rated much higher or lower than what you rated them. Furthermore, just because some pageant or magazine puts something out there as being beautiful does not mean you have to conform. Part of having free will is the ability to decide for yourself whether you want to buy a closet full of Gucci or starve yourself or just scrub your face and wear some no-name jeans and be happy with who you are. If someone is too weak or has such low self esteem that they try to be someone else, well, they are probably already a lot more harmed than some beauty pageant will ever harm them.
Celebrate beauty in all it's forms. Besides, Hooters girls need something to do in their spare time.
~Peace
Well, I don't think that their arguments hold up very well if you really inspect them closely. First and foremost, not one participant in these events is doing so against their will. Far from it, they are willing participants. And how exactly are these events discriminatory? Because they only allow females to enter them? So what? Many feminist functions are limited to women only. Even if there are men who support their cause, at many events, men are not allowed. And you know what? That is perfectly okay. Would these same feminists be so outraged at a planned lesbian event where men are not allowed? Of course not. But that would be discriminatory, would it not? Furthermore, as opposed to being heterosexist, it would be homosexist, but that would be okay for the PC feminists.
As for beauty pageants objectifying women, I would really like to know what is so wrong with celebrating beauty? Should we ban Nobel Prizes because they objectify thought and humanity causes? Should we ban Pulitzer Prizes because they objectify skill at writing and journalism? Should we outlaw the Fields Medal for objectifying mathematics? And I guess the Scripps-Howard Spelling Bees should be wiped off the face of the earth, since they objectify those with a command of language. Of course not. And these are traits that by and large, the contestants are blessed with from birth. People have natural talents in many areas. To celebrate one while demonizing another would be the very definition of discrimination.
And then their final argument is that it puts unrealistic expectations of beauty on average women. Complete crap. First, everyone has a vastly different definition of what they see as beautiful. Want a perfect example of this? Go visit the Am I Hot web site and rate a few dozen people who have posted their photos. Then compare what you rate them with what their overall score is. See how many are rated much higher or lower than what you rated them. Furthermore, just because some pageant or magazine puts something out there as being beautiful does not mean you have to conform. Part of having free will is the ability to decide for yourself whether you want to buy a closet full of Gucci or starve yourself or just scrub your face and wear some no-name jeans and be happy with who you are. If someone is too weak or has such low self esteem that they try to be someone else, well, they are probably already a lot more harmed than some beauty pageant will ever harm them.
Celebrate beauty in all it's forms. Besides, Hooters girls need something to do in their spare time.
~Peace
Sunday, November 14, 2004
Uncomfortable Situations
We've all been there at some point. Everything is swimming along beautifully, then suddenly you find yourself in a situation that, through no fault of your own, is just uncomfortable. You never know when one will jump in front of you. But they happen so often to so many people, that even Hollywood has capitalized on them. Meet The Parents is probably the best example of this. Every single scene in the entire movie made even the viewer a little uncomfortable. Having to meet your girlfriend's parents for the first time is always a little nerve wracking. But the things that happen to Ben Stiller in that movie really push the envelope.
But it isn't limited to just that one event. These things can happen anywhere. I remember back when my ex and I were dating, I was over at her parent's place having dinner. Afterwards we were sitting on the sofa watching T.V. while her mom was putting away the leftovers. Her mom was bent over with her head in the refrigerator, and lets loose with a very audible breaking of wind. I'll be honest, I would have been proud of a fart that had that much resonance and volume. Her mom is laughing inside the refrigerator while the rest of us are pretty much speechless. I mean, yeah, I could have really gone off and embarrassed her even further, "God woman, what the hell did you eat?? Is this what I can look forward to from your cooking?" But I didn't. I sat there fighting back laughter and tears were forming at the corner of my eyes. My girlfriend was turning 14 shades of red, which only made me have to fight the swelling urge to laugh my ass off even worse.
But some uncomfortable situations don't really have a lot of humor tied to them. They are just plain uncomfortable. Such as having a pretty good acquaintance that you enjoy hanging out with at the local watering hole, but yet another patron is a complete drunk asshole, every time they come in. You're sitting there having a beer, shooting the shit, glance back to the door and see this person walking in. You say something like, "dammit, I can't stand so-and-so. They are so fucking obnoxious." Your buddy looks over to see who you're talking about, turns back to you and says, "Yeah. I know. That's my sister." D'OH! What the hell do you say in response to that? Ummm... sucks to be you? And you still CLAIM her? There is no saving grace from that. About all you can say at that point is, Really? Hm. Did you catch that football game last night? And hope you can just forget the whole thing.
These things are endless. You take a girl out on a date, have a great time, catch a good movie, go out for a couple of drinks and some conversation afterwards, are really enjoying the company. Then something totally unexpected happens. It could be anything. Something you said you wish you hadn't said. Something she did you wish she hadn't done. Who knows? Or maybe something like...oh, I don't know...another guy she's going out with turning up in the same place the two of you are. Let me tell you right now... NO GOOD CAN COME FROM THIS. Even if everyone walks away with all of their teeth in tact, the tension it creates is pretty much guaranteed to fuck the rest of your evening. She's going to have to at least talk to him for a minute, he's going to feel fucked up about it, you're going to feel fucked up about it, there is going to be a bit of a power play from someone, for sure. And when all is said and done, if it turns out all good, it's still not all good. It's the kind of thing that will just kind of linger over whatever time you have left in your evening plans. Like the big pink elephant in the middle of the dinner party that no one talks about. Creepy.
Ah hell, as I always say, everything happens for a reason, and it always works out just the way it's supposed to.
This of course is just a umm.. hypothetical situation...yeah, that's it... that's the ticket.
~Out~
But it isn't limited to just that one event. These things can happen anywhere. I remember back when my ex and I were dating, I was over at her parent's place having dinner. Afterwards we were sitting on the sofa watching T.V. while her mom was putting away the leftovers. Her mom was bent over with her head in the refrigerator, and lets loose with a very audible breaking of wind. I'll be honest, I would have been proud of a fart that had that much resonance and volume. Her mom is laughing inside the refrigerator while the rest of us are pretty much speechless. I mean, yeah, I could have really gone off and embarrassed her even further, "God woman, what the hell did you eat?? Is this what I can look forward to from your cooking?" But I didn't. I sat there fighting back laughter and tears were forming at the corner of my eyes. My girlfriend was turning 14 shades of red, which only made me have to fight the swelling urge to laugh my ass off even worse.
But some uncomfortable situations don't really have a lot of humor tied to them. They are just plain uncomfortable. Such as having a pretty good acquaintance that you enjoy hanging out with at the local watering hole, but yet another patron is a complete drunk asshole, every time they come in. You're sitting there having a beer, shooting the shit, glance back to the door and see this person walking in. You say something like, "dammit, I can't stand so-and-so. They are so fucking obnoxious." Your buddy looks over to see who you're talking about, turns back to you and says, "Yeah. I know. That's my sister." D'OH! What the hell do you say in response to that? Ummm... sucks to be you? And you still CLAIM her? There is no saving grace from that. About all you can say at that point is, Really? Hm. Did you catch that football game last night? And hope you can just forget the whole thing.
These things are endless. You take a girl out on a date, have a great time, catch a good movie, go out for a couple of drinks and some conversation afterwards, are really enjoying the company. Then something totally unexpected happens. It could be anything. Something you said you wish you hadn't said. Something she did you wish she hadn't done. Who knows? Or maybe something like...oh, I don't know...another guy she's going out with turning up in the same place the two of you are. Let me tell you right now... NO GOOD CAN COME FROM THIS. Even if everyone walks away with all of their teeth in tact, the tension it creates is pretty much guaranteed to fuck the rest of your evening. She's going to have to at least talk to him for a minute, he's going to feel fucked up about it, you're going to feel fucked up about it, there is going to be a bit of a power play from someone, for sure. And when all is said and done, if it turns out all good, it's still not all good. It's the kind of thing that will just kind of linger over whatever time you have left in your evening plans. Like the big pink elephant in the middle of the dinner party that no one talks about. Creepy.
Ah hell, as I always say, everything happens for a reason, and it always works out just the way it's supposed to.
This of course is just a umm.. hypothetical situation...yeah, that's it... that's the ticket.
~Out~
Wednesday, November 10, 2004
Get Over Yourself
Today I had to attend our company's bi-annual anti-harassment training session. Everyone in the company has to go through this every other year. The information provided was sound, and I don't think anyone should be harassed any time, especially at work.
But I also think people really need to get over themselves. When exactly did this great nation become filled with whiney ass little punks with egos so fragile that you can't even tell a joke or give a compliment without offending someone? When this country was founded, people endured great hardship to make the ocean voyage into this unknown land. They chopped down trees and built houses and farms and barns without even the luxury of electricity. And as the country grew, we pushed west, again enduring months of covered wagon travel, foraging out a meager existence in hopes of a brighter future. Do you think these great founding fathers (and mothers, lest I offend anyone reading this) ever gave a shit about someone telling a slightly off color joke while they are having to plow the back forty with a mule?
Don't get me wrong, I don't think you should go around trying to piss people off or intentionally make fun of someone due to their race, religion, sex, what color socks they are wearing or how often they scratch their butts on a wall. But the environment they are condoning is one in which no one is ever allowed to have any fun at all. And how exactly is this supposed to increase morale? Everyone is too afraid to say the wrong thing or look at someone the wrong way for fear of being brought to HR because their precious feelings got hurt. Grow up. Life isn't fair. And that is the best possible news there is. Because life isn't fair, you are not obligated to take whatever is dealt to you and live with it. You have the ability to take your circumstances and make them better. You have the ability to seek out that which makes you happy and successful. You don't have to bemoan every little comment someone says and make it an issue. How sad of a life do you lead if you are offended by anything that could possibly be taken in a negative connotation?
Personally, I want people around me to have fun and enjoy themselves. I want people to bust my balls, crack on me and my po' white trash family. In general, people know when they cross a line. And I honestly do not think the vast majority of people out there say and do things to intentionally hurt another person. I know I don't.
A good friend of mine recommended a book for me to read a while back. I never did read the book, but I did skim it and agree with the principles whole heartedly. It is on my "to read" list. The book is called The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. Basically it is about how to have personal freedom, and to touch on the major points, the agreements are 1) Be impeccable with your word, 2) Don't make assumptions, 3) Always do your best and 4) Don't take anything personally. These little rules may sound simple, but to actually put them in practice takes a lot of personal work. I truly understand that it is hard to not take things people do or say personally, but in reality what others do or say is not about you. To quote from the book, "Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering." Think about that for a minute. You won't be the victim of needless suffering.
Let it go, people. Get over yourself. Enjoy life. Laugh. Joke. Have fun. Picture your ideal self in your mind, and make it your life's goal to become that person. Be passionate, be loving, and be good to yourself. But for god's sake, lighten up!
Gone.
But I also think people really need to get over themselves. When exactly did this great nation become filled with whiney ass little punks with egos so fragile that you can't even tell a joke or give a compliment without offending someone? When this country was founded, people endured great hardship to make the ocean voyage into this unknown land. They chopped down trees and built houses and farms and barns without even the luxury of electricity. And as the country grew, we pushed west, again enduring months of covered wagon travel, foraging out a meager existence in hopes of a brighter future. Do you think these great founding fathers (and mothers, lest I offend anyone reading this) ever gave a shit about someone telling a slightly off color joke while they are having to plow the back forty with a mule?
Don't get me wrong, I don't think you should go around trying to piss people off or intentionally make fun of someone due to their race, religion, sex, what color socks they are wearing or how often they scratch their butts on a wall. But the environment they are condoning is one in which no one is ever allowed to have any fun at all. And how exactly is this supposed to increase morale? Everyone is too afraid to say the wrong thing or look at someone the wrong way for fear of being brought to HR because their precious feelings got hurt. Grow up. Life isn't fair. And that is the best possible news there is. Because life isn't fair, you are not obligated to take whatever is dealt to you and live with it. You have the ability to take your circumstances and make them better. You have the ability to seek out that which makes you happy and successful. You don't have to bemoan every little comment someone says and make it an issue. How sad of a life do you lead if you are offended by anything that could possibly be taken in a negative connotation?
Personally, I want people around me to have fun and enjoy themselves. I want people to bust my balls, crack on me and my po' white trash family. In general, people know when they cross a line. And I honestly do not think the vast majority of people out there say and do things to intentionally hurt another person. I know I don't.
A good friend of mine recommended a book for me to read a while back. I never did read the book, but I did skim it and agree with the principles whole heartedly. It is on my "to read" list. The book is called The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. Basically it is about how to have personal freedom, and to touch on the major points, the agreements are 1) Be impeccable with your word, 2) Don't make assumptions, 3) Always do your best and 4) Don't take anything personally. These little rules may sound simple, but to actually put them in practice takes a lot of personal work. I truly understand that it is hard to not take things people do or say personally, but in reality what others do or say is not about you. To quote from the book, "Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering." Think about that for a minute. You won't be the victim of needless suffering.
Let it go, people. Get over yourself. Enjoy life. Laugh. Joke. Have fun. Picture your ideal self in your mind, and make it your life's goal to become that person. Be passionate, be loving, and be good to yourself. But for god's sake, lighten up!
Gone.
What Is Friendship?
Friendship is a term that I feel is thrown around way too freely these days. What is commonly referred to as friendship, is more accurately termed acquaintance. I feel there is a definite line between friendship and a mere acquaintance. I have many acquaintances who I feel pretty close to. But in the grand scheme of things, I have very few people in my life that I would term a true friend. I've heard a couple of definitions lately that, when really thought about hold true.
One is, "A friend will help you move. A true friend will help you move a body.".
The other is, "A friend will bail you out of jail. A true friend will be sitting beside you in jail, saying, 'Man, WE screwed up'."
If you really think about the connotations of both of these scenarios, you will find that both are really accurate. In Bill O'Reilly's book, "Who's Looking Out For You?" , Bill makes the statement, "How many people in your life can you name that would bleed for you?" He assesses that if the number is less than five, you need to find a larger net of friendship. Now, I honestly cannot name five people who I think would bleed for me. But I can name a solid three. And maybe four. I know that if everything else in my life was completely gone to shit, there are three people in the entire world who would do whatever it took to make sure that I would be safe and secure no matter what personal sacrifice might befall them.
I would love to say that I knew five people that would do the same, but I honestly cannot make that statement. But I have to say that I feel truly blessed that I have three people (maybe four) I can turn to if my chips are really down. Do I ever want to put these people in this position? HELL NO! I never want to put those who I treasure as my true friends in any kind of danger or personal sacrifice. But there is a certain comfort in knowing that there are at least three people out there, without any kind of blood relationship or sense of some kind of moral obligation, that there are some real people that I can count on when the chips are really down, when you aren't just crying wolf (as all of us do at some time), who if you really need them, would come through for you, no matter what the cost to them. And the other side of that is, I feel sure, they know I would do the same for them. Without question, without hesitation. If those who are closest to me ever need me, they know I will be there.
I feel that is the true definition of friendship. In order to have a friend, you must be a friend. Of course, there are times in all of our lives when our own self interest get in the way of others' best interest. No matter how good a person is, at some point in their life, they will ask, "What's in it for me?" But I do know that there are at least three people in the world that I would bleed for. And those are the same people who would bleed for me. There may be more, but there are at least three who are not my mother or my brother, who I can depend on, who I can turn to, who I can lean on in my times of weakness, and who would do whatever it took to ensure that I have what I need to make it through another day. I sincerely hope that those people know that I would do the same for them.
Does that mean that those people and I always see eye-to-eye? Absolutely not. This is what I value most in them. That we can have our differences and still respect and even love each other. That we can be our own person and still respect each other enough to know, despite our differences, we are there for each other. I want friends who challenge me. I want friends who have the balls to call me an asshole when I need it. And I treasure friends who have my back.
I am truly blessed.
Sorry to be so sappy, as always, I call 'em like I see 'em.
Out.
LoRyder
One is, "A friend will help you move. A true friend will help you move a body.".
The other is, "A friend will bail you out of jail. A true friend will be sitting beside you in jail, saying, 'Man, WE screwed up'."
If you really think about the connotations of both of these scenarios, you will find that both are really accurate. In Bill O'Reilly's book, "Who's Looking Out For You?" , Bill makes the statement, "How many people in your life can you name that would bleed for you?" He assesses that if the number is less than five, you need to find a larger net of friendship. Now, I honestly cannot name five people who I think would bleed for me. But I can name a solid three. And maybe four. I know that if everything else in my life was completely gone to shit, there are three people in the entire world who would do whatever it took to make sure that I would be safe and secure no matter what personal sacrifice might befall them.
I would love to say that I knew five people that would do the same, but I honestly cannot make that statement. But I have to say that I feel truly blessed that I have three people (maybe four) I can turn to if my chips are really down. Do I ever want to put these people in this position? HELL NO! I never want to put those who I treasure as my true friends in any kind of danger or personal sacrifice. But there is a certain comfort in knowing that there are at least three people out there, without any kind of blood relationship or sense of some kind of moral obligation, that there are some real people that I can count on when the chips are really down, when you aren't just crying wolf (as all of us do at some time), who if you really need them, would come through for you, no matter what the cost to them. And the other side of that is, I feel sure, they know I would do the same for them. Without question, without hesitation. If those who are closest to me ever need me, they know I will be there.
I feel that is the true definition of friendship. In order to have a friend, you must be a friend. Of course, there are times in all of our lives when our own self interest get in the way of others' best interest. No matter how good a person is, at some point in their life, they will ask, "What's in it for me?" But I do know that there are at least three people in the world that I would bleed for. And those are the same people who would bleed for me. There may be more, but there are at least three who are not my mother or my brother, who I can depend on, who I can turn to, who I can lean on in my times of weakness, and who would do whatever it took to ensure that I have what I need to make it through another day. I sincerely hope that those people know that I would do the same for them.
Does that mean that those people and I always see eye-to-eye? Absolutely not. This is what I value most in them. That we can have our differences and still respect and even love each other. That we can be our own person and still respect each other enough to know, despite our differences, we are there for each other. I want friends who challenge me. I want friends who have the balls to call me an asshole when I need it. And I treasure friends who have my back.
I am truly blessed.
Sorry to be so sappy, as always, I call 'em like I see 'em.
Out.
LoRyder
Monday, November 08, 2004
MNF
Ahhh.. football season. The most wonderful time of the year! I for one think that no professional sport season should really be much longer than football season. Of course, I do wish it were longer, but I certainly don't want it to ever slip into the realm of NBA or god forbid baseball. We're already catching basketball pre-season games, and seriously, who really cares about pre-season basketball? Baseball is even worse. Those games start up while snow is still hanging around in many parts of the country and isn't over until the end of October! Are you freakin kidding me? This from a sport where there is only 20 minutes of action in the whole game, but it still takes 4 hours to get it over with. Excuse me while I take a nap. If it weren't for ESPN SportCenter, I would never catch a single baseball game. That 30 second clip will show you EVERYTHING that happened in the entire game, and you can still tell your coworkers, "yeah, that was a great catch" or whatever. And you didn't have to waste your entire evening to see it.
But football! Action on every play, beasts of men running head first into each other and getting the snot smacked out of them. Throwing an oddly shaped ball 50 yards downfield to a guy in double coverage, threading the needle between the defenders, a leaping acrobatic one-handed catch for a huge gain, or better yet a touchdown. Or some 250 pound running back finding a seam in the line, making a quick stutter step to the left and breaking out for a 25 yard pick up, while dragging a couple of linebackers on his heels. A clutch kick with 5 seconds left on the clock, watching it sail 40 yards through the uprights for a spectacular come-from-behind win. This game has it all!
And then there is Monday Night Football. The godsend of the start of the week. Even working the night shift, I'm able to get out of here early enough to catch the second half, and sometimes I can even make the 2nd quarter. And since I work every weekend, Monday is actually my Wednesday, and is the perfect mid-week break I need. Whoever it was that thought up Monday Night Football, a sincere and heart felt thank you!
Beer Wench! Another round!
But football! Action on every play, beasts of men running head first into each other and getting the snot smacked out of them. Throwing an oddly shaped ball 50 yards downfield to a guy in double coverage, threading the needle between the defenders, a leaping acrobatic one-handed catch for a huge gain, or better yet a touchdown. Or some 250 pound running back finding a seam in the line, making a quick stutter step to the left and breaking out for a 25 yard pick up, while dragging a couple of linebackers on his heels. A clutch kick with 5 seconds left on the clock, watching it sail 40 yards through the uprights for a spectacular come-from-behind win. This game has it all!
And then there is Monday Night Football. The godsend of the start of the week. Even working the night shift, I'm able to get out of here early enough to catch the second half, and sometimes I can even make the 2nd quarter. And since I work every weekend, Monday is actually my Wednesday, and is the perfect mid-week break I need. Whoever it was that thought up Monday Night Football, a sincere and heart felt thank you!
Beer Wench! Another round!
Sunday, November 07, 2004
The Brighter Side of Night
In an earlier post, I talked about how much the world caters to the day side workers. But to be honest, working nights does have some advantages too. There are fewer "suits" to deal with when you are working, since they are mostly all day people. The working environment is usually a bit more relaxed, and in many cases, you are in control. At least once a week, I am the only person in my department, which means I am my own boss, even though I really don't have anyone I'm supervising but me. There is truly freedom in that, but there is also periods of boredom. A large part of my job, especially on weekends, is waiting for things to break. As long as our systems are running well, there can be a lot of down time. The opposite side of that coin, is that when things do break, I have to have the confidence that no matter what happens, I am capable of fixing it, and fixing it fast. I work in a deadline oriented business, and the pressure is on every single day that our product MUST go out the door. There is absolutely no room for not accomplishing that task. I take that responsibility seriously.
And in talking to a lot of people who work similar shifts, they all agree that they do as well. There are rarely a lot of people to fall back on during the night shifts. The bulk of the brain trust has left for the day, and it is part of your job to do everything you know how to do to fix the problem before having to wake someone up at oh-dark-thirty.
Last night a small group of friends had an impromptu gathering over at my house after we had all gotten off work, or closed down some bar. I was talking with a bartender friend of mine about the best parts of working nights. She agreed that the freedom was a big draw. But another part of the conversation turned to the benefits of the night shift aside from the actual job. It went something like this:
LR: So, other than work, what is the best part of working the night vermin shift?
Her: Hmm... It would have to be the people.
LR: What do you mean?
Her: Well, the people who come in late to the bar, and the people who will hang out with you late are real. There is nothing fake about them. They are down to earth, and for the most part have a lot of common sense.
LR: Yeah, I would agree with that.
Her: I've worked the happy hour shifts a lot. There has always been something just a little fake about that crowd. They are out to impress, to hobnob with other yuppies, and to "network." Don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with making contacts, but .. I don't know...
LR: Yeah, like, you are never quite sure if this person is talking to me because he or she really wants to know me, or whether they are just trying to line up their next sale.
Her: Exactly.
Now, due to the drunken stupor we were all in by this time, I may not have the exact quotations down, but that was the gist of the conversation. And I did a lot of thinking about this today and have to agree, she's right. While there may not be a LOT of places you can go at this hour, the people you do run into truly are "real" people. They have their faults, but the vast majority of them are people who are thinkers and have a good grasp on their beliefs. They aren't afraid to take a stand on an issue. And even if you don't agree with their perspective, they are willing to let those differences be a part of your relationship, not a hindrance. And still buy you a beer.
There seems to be a lot of these little spontaneous gatherings at my house. Some consist of only a couple of close friends. Sometimes there can be 10 or 15 people show up. This particular crown was five. The conversations ebbed and flowed, ranging from Fidel Castro falling on his face to how good a cheap bottle of wine can be. Mixed in with this was a steady beat coming from the stereo, various times where someone would get up and dance for a while, a couple of games of darts, and then falling into playing Texas Hold'em with whatever change you had in your pocket. Poker then changed to Black Jack, when turned to Spades, and then finally, everyone was too drunk to deal the cards.
I love these little spur of the minute parties. There is never any planning involved. As I was leaving work, I told a couple of my best friends who I work with to drop by if they wanted. Once I got home, my phone rang, and a couple more people invited themselves over. I never know when it is going to happen, and sometimes I am too tired to accommodate them, and have to turn them down. I always feel bad when I do, because I know that it's just the night vermin wanting to blow off some steam and are looking for a convenient spot. Been there plenty of times myself. And if I do say no, there may be some initial whining, but generally, they all understand and never hold it against me. Because they know, next time they ask, I'll probably say yes.
I do try to say yes to these gatherings as often as I can because it is always a good time. It can get loud, it can get smoky, it can get really crazy sometimes. Sure, things get spilled, lamps knocked over on occasion, and someone might end up passing out and get a Sharpie taken to their face. Serves them right for passing out in front of a bunch of drunk Vampires (sleep all day, party all night, it's fun to be a vampire). I can usually count on at least one funny incident coming up during one of these. Last night was no exception.
Somewhere around 4am, we all decided we were hungry. Waffle House was the choice, and we started writing down the order. --interesting side note here, the Waffle House closest to us will not take call-in orders between 2am and 5am, I guess because too many of us drunk fucks call it in then pass out before we go pick it up-- Anyway, since I was the most sober one of the group, I had to go pick up this massive 10-pound order of hash browns, scattered smothered and covered, eggs, cheese and various other largely yellow tinted foods. As I'm carting in the three bags and a couple of coffees into the door, I look around the place, and people are laying all over the sofa and huge ass ottoman, when one of the guests shouts to me as I walk in, "LOOK WHAT WE FOUND WHILE YOU WERE GONE! WE'VE BEEN DOING SHOTS!"
And that is when I realized this was not going to turn out well. Held aloft like the Stanley Cup in a toothless hockey player's outstretched arm was my gleaming, now almost empty bottle of Kentucky's Finest Bourbon, Maker's Mark. No. Oh God, NO! In the forty minutes I had taken to drive my ass down to Awful Waffle, put in the order, and haul all this shit back, everyone there was now three-sheets-to-the-wind, shit house drunk. Off of bourbon. Off of REALLY FUCKING GOOD bourbon. One of these said participants in this debauchery was under 100 pounds. And I watched in both awe and horror as this petite thing uncorked the bottle, places it to her lips and turns it straight up. Then turn to me, wobbling just slightly and state quite matter-of-factly, "This is really smooth!"
Sigh. Slight shake of my head. And the only thought that went through my head was... well... guess I'll be holding someone's hair tonight. Fuck it, hand me my cheese steak omelet.
Peace.
LoRyder
And in talking to a lot of people who work similar shifts, they all agree that they do as well. There are rarely a lot of people to fall back on during the night shifts. The bulk of the brain trust has left for the day, and it is part of your job to do everything you know how to do to fix the problem before having to wake someone up at oh-dark-thirty.
Last night a small group of friends had an impromptu gathering over at my house after we had all gotten off work, or closed down some bar. I was talking with a bartender friend of mine about the best parts of working nights. She agreed that the freedom was a big draw. But another part of the conversation turned to the benefits of the night shift aside from the actual job. It went something like this:
LR: So, other than work, what is the best part of working the night vermin shift?
Her: Hmm... It would have to be the people.
LR: What do you mean?
Her: Well, the people who come in late to the bar, and the people who will hang out with you late are real. There is nothing fake about them. They are down to earth, and for the most part have a lot of common sense.
LR: Yeah, I would agree with that.
Her: I've worked the happy hour shifts a lot. There has always been something just a little fake about that crowd. They are out to impress, to hobnob with other yuppies, and to "network." Don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with making contacts, but .. I don't know...
LR: Yeah, like, you are never quite sure if this person is talking to me because he or she really wants to know me, or whether they are just trying to line up their next sale.
Her: Exactly.
Now, due to the drunken stupor we were all in by this time, I may not have the exact quotations down, but that was the gist of the conversation. And I did a lot of thinking about this today and have to agree, she's right. While there may not be a LOT of places you can go at this hour, the people you do run into truly are "real" people. They have their faults, but the vast majority of them are people who are thinkers and have a good grasp on their beliefs. They aren't afraid to take a stand on an issue. And even if you don't agree with their perspective, they are willing to let those differences be a part of your relationship, not a hindrance. And still buy you a beer.
There seems to be a lot of these little spontaneous gatherings at my house. Some consist of only a couple of close friends. Sometimes there can be 10 or 15 people show up. This particular crown was five. The conversations ebbed and flowed, ranging from Fidel Castro falling on his face to how good a cheap bottle of wine can be. Mixed in with this was a steady beat coming from the stereo, various times where someone would get up and dance for a while, a couple of games of darts, and then falling into playing Texas Hold'em with whatever change you had in your pocket. Poker then changed to Black Jack, when turned to Spades, and then finally, everyone was too drunk to deal the cards.
I love these little spur of the minute parties. There is never any planning involved. As I was leaving work, I told a couple of my best friends who I work with to drop by if they wanted. Once I got home, my phone rang, and a couple more people invited themselves over. I never know when it is going to happen, and sometimes I am too tired to accommodate them, and have to turn them down. I always feel bad when I do, because I know that it's just the night vermin wanting to blow off some steam and are looking for a convenient spot. Been there plenty of times myself. And if I do say no, there may be some initial whining, but generally, they all understand and never hold it against me. Because they know, next time they ask, I'll probably say yes.
I do try to say yes to these gatherings as often as I can because it is always a good time. It can get loud, it can get smoky, it can get really crazy sometimes. Sure, things get spilled, lamps knocked over on occasion, and someone might end up passing out and get a Sharpie taken to their face. Serves them right for passing out in front of a bunch of drunk Vampires (sleep all day, party all night, it's fun to be a vampire). I can usually count on at least one funny incident coming up during one of these. Last night was no exception.
Somewhere around 4am, we all decided we were hungry. Waffle House was the choice, and we started writing down the order. --interesting side note here, the Waffle House closest to us will not take call-in orders between 2am and 5am, I guess because too many of us drunk fucks call it in then pass out before we go pick it up-- Anyway, since I was the most sober one of the group, I had to go pick up this massive 10-pound order of hash browns, scattered smothered and covered, eggs, cheese and various other largely yellow tinted foods. As I'm carting in the three bags and a couple of coffees into the door, I look around the place, and people are laying all over the sofa and huge ass ottoman, when one of the guests shouts to me as I walk in, "LOOK WHAT WE FOUND WHILE YOU WERE GONE! WE'VE BEEN DOING SHOTS!"
And that is when I realized this was not going to turn out well. Held aloft like the Stanley Cup in a toothless hockey player's outstretched arm was my gleaming, now almost empty bottle of Kentucky's Finest Bourbon, Maker's Mark. No. Oh God, NO! In the forty minutes I had taken to drive my ass down to Awful Waffle, put in the order, and haul all this shit back, everyone there was now three-sheets-to-the-wind, shit house drunk. Off of bourbon. Off of REALLY FUCKING GOOD bourbon. One of these said participants in this debauchery was under 100 pounds. And I watched in both awe and horror as this petite thing uncorked the bottle, places it to her lips and turns it straight up. Then turn to me, wobbling just slightly and state quite matter-of-factly, "This is really smooth!"
Sigh. Slight shake of my head. And the only thought that went through my head was... well... guess I'll be holding someone's hair tonight. Fuck it, hand me my cheese steak omelet.
Peace.
LoRyder
Saturday, November 06, 2004
If you're brave enough to wear it...
I caught a brief segment of some show on MTV or something similar which showed one of those fake Hollywood parties. Recently in New York at a birthday bash for hip hop star Sean "P. Diddy" Combs, American Pie actress Tara Reid arrived in a slinky black dress with a fur wrap. When she whipped off the wrap, it took the strap of the dress with it, and out popped her left breast. Now, of course TV threw the blurry box over the exposed breast, but the throng of photographers snapped away at said random boobage. You can see it The Sun Online.
What was interesting about it, as The Sun reports, is that she didn't realize it, and after an assistant helped her out by replacing the fallen strap, she proceeded to bitch out the photographers, telling them she had better not see those photos anywhere. Guess what, you dumb bitch? YOU'RE A FUCKING CELEBRITY and you just showed your left tit to the media! Duh! What did you think they were going to do? Just keep it for their private collection? These people get PAID to be there to capture just such mishaps, you dumbass.
But this got me thinking about a lot of women who wear skimpy clothing. I cannot tell you how many times I've seen a chick in a short skirt or low-cut blouse out in public, who is constantly tugging down on the skirt or re-adjusting the top to try to cover up what they intended to show off in the first place. I mean really, if they weren't trying to flaunt their assets, they wouldn't have put the outfit, let alone ever bought it in the first place. Look, I have ABSOLUTELY no problem with a woman showing a little skin, displaying those wonderful attributes they were so blessed with, but dammit, if you are brave enough to wear it, then please quit trying to pretend to be modest by constantly tugging and prodding on those clothes covering back up. There isn't enough material there to cover up anything anyway, so drop the act. The only thing you are doing by trying to pull that skirt down is bringing more attention to it. And you know, THAT is probably exactly what you are trying to do in the first place. Modesty is highly over rated anyway.
And as long as I'm on this, let me take this a step further. I think every woman has great assets she is blessed with. Some have great legs, some have beautiful eyes, some are warm and caring, some are just a great person inside, or any combination of a myriad of qualities. All of them are unique and beautiful in their own way. And the vast majority I know, either personally or through reading, have some form of self esteem issues. And that is perfectly okay. We all do, on some level. Then there are those with a seemingly lack of self esteem issues that should have them. For me personally, the worst you can see is a woman who thinks she is way hotter than she really is. And proceeds to flaunt parts of her body that should remain covered. I swear to the gods, if I have to see one more physically unattractive, grossly overweight slob in spaghetti straps with enough back fat hanging out to season a 50 gallon tub of collard greens, I'm going to heave. Please understand, I am NOT talking about the women who have a few extra pounds, or are not anorexic thin, I'm talking about the ones who are so obese they are a walking heart attack waiting to happen. Come on, ladies, this is just uncalled for.
You're out at a restaurant, hanging with friends, having a good time, when suddenly the hostess escorts a group of people past your table and all you can see is rolls of skin tumbling out of some gold lame` top and a thigh so big it would put a 30-pound Virginia smoked ham to shame.
MY EYES, MY EYES, IT BURNS!!! Jesus H. Christ, did you look in the mirror before you left the house?
Look, I am all for a strong, confident woman who is secure with herself, but dammit, give it a rest! Did you think, "well, I'm more overweight than a cross country transfer truck on a 3 day haul, but fuck it, if I show enough skin, there will be some slob out there who is drunk enough to fuck me" ??? NEWS FLASH: Most self respecting men are going to turn away in disgust. There are plenty of clothes out there that will cover up most of your excess flesh and still make you look sexy. Just do a Google search on plus size clothing, you will find thousands of great stores that cater to you! The sad part of this is, there probably IS some drunk slob who will bed you. Thanks, dumbass, you're only encouraging this behavior.
Did I mention that I am NOT politically correct? I call 'em like I see 'em.
Gone.
What was interesting about it, as The Sun reports, is that she didn't realize it, and after an assistant helped her out by replacing the fallen strap, she proceeded to bitch out the photographers, telling them she had better not see those photos anywhere. Guess what, you dumb bitch? YOU'RE A FUCKING CELEBRITY and you just showed your left tit to the media! Duh! What did you think they were going to do? Just keep it for their private collection? These people get PAID to be there to capture just such mishaps, you dumbass.
But this got me thinking about a lot of women who wear skimpy clothing. I cannot tell you how many times I've seen a chick in a short skirt or low-cut blouse out in public, who is constantly tugging down on the skirt or re-adjusting the top to try to cover up what they intended to show off in the first place. I mean really, if they weren't trying to flaunt their assets, they wouldn't have put the outfit, let alone ever bought it in the first place. Look, I have ABSOLUTELY no problem with a woman showing a little skin, displaying those wonderful attributes they were so blessed with, but dammit, if you are brave enough to wear it, then please quit trying to pretend to be modest by constantly tugging and prodding on those clothes covering back up. There isn't enough material there to cover up anything anyway, so drop the act. The only thing you are doing by trying to pull that skirt down is bringing more attention to it. And you know, THAT is probably exactly what you are trying to do in the first place. Modesty is highly over rated anyway.
And as long as I'm on this, let me take this a step further. I think every woman has great assets she is blessed with. Some have great legs, some have beautiful eyes, some are warm and caring, some are just a great person inside, or any combination of a myriad of qualities. All of them are unique and beautiful in their own way. And the vast majority I know, either personally or through reading, have some form of self esteem issues. And that is perfectly okay. We all do, on some level. Then there are those with a seemingly lack of self esteem issues that should have them. For me personally, the worst you can see is a woman who thinks she is way hotter than she really is. And proceeds to flaunt parts of her body that should remain covered. I swear to the gods, if I have to see one more physically unattractive, grossly overweight slob in spaghetti straps with enough back fat hanging out to season a 50 gallon tub of collard greens, I'm going to heave. Please understand, I am NOT talking about the women who have a few extra pounds, or are not anorexic thin, I'm talking about the ones who are so obese they are a walking heart attack waiting to happen. Come on, ladies, this is just uncalled for.
You're out at a restaurant, hanging with friends, having a good time, when suddenly the hostess escorts a group of people past your table and all you can see is rolls of skin tumbling out of some gold lame` top and a thigh so big it would put a 30-pound Virginia smoked ham to shame.
MY EYES, MY EYES, IT BURNS!!! Jesus H. Christ, did you look in the mirror before you left the house?
Look, I am all for a strong, confident woman who is secure with herself, but dammit, give it a rest! Did you think, "well, I'm more overweight than a cross country transfer truck on a 3 day haul, but fuck it, if I show enough skin, there will be some slob out there who is drunk enough to fuck me" ??? NEWS FLASH: Most self respecting men are going to turn away in disgust. There are plenty of clothes out there that will cover up most of your excess flesh and still make you look sexy. Just do a Google search on plus size clothing, you will find thousands of great stores that cater to you! The sad part of this is, there probably IS some drunk slob who will bed you. Thanks, dumbass, you're only encouraging this behavior.
Did I mention that I am NOT politically correct? I call 'em like I see 'em.
Gone.
Friday, November 05, 2004
Day People
The world is changing. Duh. I know, bold statement there. But specifically, the world is changing from the so-called "bankers hours" to a more wide ranging realm of hours that the every day person works. I do not work a standard nine-to-five schedule. As a matter of fact, a lot of my working hours are in the late and very late evening. I still have some friends and acquaintences who work those regular hours, and to be honest, they piss me off. The bulk of the world still caters to those who work regular hours, and ignore those of us who follow a different schedule. They get up early, the go to bed early, they can go have a drink and socialize after work with friends, they can go shopping at normal stores, and a plethora of other options that are not available to people like me.
But for your information, it is those of us who do work the late hours that keep this economy running smoothly and provide you with conveniences that you don't even consider. Your morning newspaper is produced at night. The deliveries to your stores happen at night so that your milk and eggs will be at your grocery store when you get there in the morning...or the afternoon. Shelves are stocked, streets are sweeped, the emergency room is staffed, and your local watering holes are manned, all for your convenience, by those of us who take up the torch to keep life as you know it running.
But have any of you ever thought about those of us who make your life a little easier? Hell no. Never once has a day person even thought about this aspect of their life. And when our shifts are done, what do we have to look forward to? Pretty much nothing. Bars close, at least in my area, at 2am, which is exactly when I get off work on weekends. So there is nowhere for people like me to go have a drink with friends after work. Restaurants close up, so we have to go to Waffle House or convenience stores to even get some food. On the rare occasion that you can actually make it out somewhere on your weekend and by some act of the gods meet someone you want to spend some time with, they inevitably crash on you way too early, leaving you alone yet again. Shopping? Well, if there isn't a 24-hour Wal-Mart in your area, you're pretty much fucked.
Yes, the world still caters to the day people. And I for one think this is an area of social life that is ripe for the picking. If some savvy entropreneurs out there would tap the night side market, you could find yourself with a gold mine on your hands. Sure there are a couple of "after hours" clubs here and there. Most of them charge a $50 per year membership fee, and still over charge for the drinks, and quite frankly those clubs are just a bit too far on the seedy side for me to ever feel really comfortable in them. Don't get me wrong, I don't hate day people. Hell, I envy them. I just wish there were more out there for us night vermin to participate in so that we wouldn't feel like such social outcasts. After all, I know it is us who help make your life a little better. Even if you never think about it.
But for your information, it is those of us who do work the late hours that keep this economy running smoothly and provide you with conveniences that you don't even consider. Your morning newspaper is produced at night. The deliveries to your stores happen at night so that your milk and eggs will be at your grocery store when you get there in the morning...or the afternoon. Shelves are stocked, streets are sweeped, the emergency room is staffed, and your local watering holes are manned, all for your convenience, by those of us who take up the torch to keep life as you know it running.
But have any of you ever thought about those of us who make your life a little easier? Hell no. Never once has a day person even thought about this aspect of their life. And when our shifts are done, what do we have to look forward to? Pretty much nothing. Bars close, at least in my area, at 2am, which is exactly when I get off work on weekends. So there is nowhere for people like me to go have a drink with friends after work. Restaurants close up, so we have to go to Waffle House or convenience stores to even get some food. On the rare occasion that you can actually make it out somewhere on your weekend and by some act of the gods meet someone you want to spend some time with, they inevitably crash on you way too early, leaving you alone yet again. Shopping? Well, if there isn't a 24-hour Wal-Mart in your area, you're pretty much fucked.
Yes, the world still caters to the day people. And I for one think this is an area of social life that is ripe for the picking. If some savvy entropreneurs out there would tap the night side market, you could find yourself with a gold mine on your hands. Sure there are a couple of "after hours" clubs here and there. Most of them charge a $50 per year membership fee, and still over charge for the drinks, and quite frankly those clubs are just a bit too far on the seedy side for me to ever feel really comfortable in them. Don't get me wrong, I don't hate day people. Hell, I envy them. I just wish there were more out there for us night vermin to participate in so that we wouldn't feel like such social outcasts. After all, I know it is us who help make your life a little better. Even if you never think about it.
Thursday, November 04, 2004
Spyware
I am a geek. Yes, a professional geek. I learned long ago, in another life, so to speak, that to be considered a professional at anything, at least half of your income must come from the work you do in your chosen profession. So for instance, if you say you are a professional photographer, at least half of your income must come from photography to be considered a professional. Therefore, I am a professional geek. I work on computers. All kinds. From the common home desktop box to Unix servers. I pretty much do it all, and currently almost all of my income comes from computers.
The current bane of computer work is what is commonly called spyware. Also, it is known as malware, adware, popup ads, etc. These little programs that seemingly come out of thin air to infect and weave their way into the deep recesses of your computer that perform a variety of functions, from stealing your credit card numbers, to delivering tailored ads directly to your desktop, in hopes you will buy the products being offered. Basically, they are just a pain in the ass. The only real function they serve is to slow down your computer to a crawl and make the entire experience of computing so frustrating that many give up on the whole thing entirely. This is a shame. I find computers both fun and functional. After all, they do allow me to pay most of my bills, somewhat on time.
Admittedly, I have a love/hate relationship with spyware. Currently, I am making some pretty decent money from cleaning up computers for people who are severly infected by this crap. Were it not for the near epidemic spread of this stuff, I wouldn't be able to afford some of the luxuries I currently enjoy. But I also think this type of stuff should be contained in some way. I really have no clue as to how to stop this stuff. The programmers who are writing these programs are some of the best I've seen. Nowdays, you don't even have to know you are installing this stuff. It can come from what I call "drive by web sites", where you are surfing around, hit some web site from random surfing, and the next thing you know, WHAM, you are suddenly loaded with spyware, without ever having to click a "yes" I want to install this to enhance my experience, or whatever. Pretty sneaky stuff.
And even more frustrating is the spyware that installs just to direct you to their site so that you can pay to use their spyware removal tool to uninstall what THEY INSTALLED in the first place! Man, that is just evil. I currently have about four tools in my bag of tricks to remove most of the spyware currently on the market, and I have to constantly update the definition files to combat all of the new stuff that comes out almost daily. There is spyware out there now that sits in memory looking for the same tools I use and it kills the removal tools before they can even get started. Spyware killer killers, if you will.
I don't know what the answer is, and all I can do is continue to battle the beast. And yes, what got me thinking about all of this today, is that my own system got hit with a flood this morning. My fault completely. I was barely awake when I hit a site that I ... well... I made a dumbass move and actually installed something I shouldn't have. WHAM! I knew it immediately. So for the next 45 mintues, I was doing deep registry scans of my system and removing the 350 pieces of spyware I was able to infect myself with in a mere 3 minutes. Amazing.
Fortunately, I am skilled enough to take care of this. There are a lot of people out there who are not. They will either find a "friend who knows computers" to help them out, hire someone like me to take care of it for them, or just live with the garbage and hope for the best. That latter group will often get so frustrated with the popups and slow systems they fall out of favor with computing as a whole, and that is really sad. I wish all of you out there the best of luck, but I can tell you from doing this day after day, you are probably already infected. And it's only going to get worse in the near future.
Gone.
LoRyder
The current bane of computer work is what is commonly called spyware. Also, it is known as malware, adware, popup ads, etc. These little programs that seemingly come out of thin air to infect and weave their way into the deep recesses of your computer that perform a variety of functions, from stealing your credit card numbers, to delivering tailored ads directly to your desktop, in hopes you will buy the products being offered. Basically, they are just a pain in the ass. The only real function they serve is to slow down your computer to a crawl and make the entire experience of computing so frustrating that many give up on the whole thing entirely. This is a shame. I find computers both fun and functional. After all, they do allow me to pay most of my bills, somewhat on time.
Admittedly, I have a love/hate relationship with spyware. Currently, I am making some pretty decent money from cleaning up computers for people who are severly infected by this crap. Were it not for the near epidemic spread of this stuff, I wouldn't be able to afford some of the luxuries I currently enjoy. But I also think this type of stuff should be contained in some way. I really have no clue as to how to stop this stuff. The programmers who are writing these programs are some of the best I've seen. Nowdays, you don't even have to know you are installing this stuff. It can come from what I call "drive by web sites", where you are surfing around, hit some web site from random surfing, and the next thing you know, WHAM, you are suddenly loaded with spyware, without ever having to click a "yes" I want to install this to enhance my experience, or whatever. Pretty sneaky stuff.
And even more frustrating is the spyware that installs just to direct you to their site so that you can pay to use their spyware removal tool to uninstall what THEY INSTALLED in the first place! Man, that is just evil. I currently have about four tools in my bag of tricks to remove most of the spyware currently on the market, and I have to constantly update the definition files to combat all of the new stuff that comes out almost daily. There is spyware out there now that sits in memory looking for the same tools I use and it kills the removal tools before they can even get started. Spyware killer killers, if you will.
I don't know what the answer is, and all I can do is continue to battle the beast. And yes, what got me thinking about all of this today, is that my own system got hit with a flood this morning. My fault completely. I was barely awake when I hit a site that I ... well... I made a dumbass move and actually installed something I shouldn't have. WHAM! I knew it immediately. So for the next 45 mintues, I was doing deep registry scans of my system and removing the 350 pieces of spyware I was able to infect myself with in a mere 3 minutes. Amazing.
Fortunately, I am skilled enough to take care of this. There are a lot of people out there who are not. They will either find a "friend who knows computers" to help them out, hire someone like me to take care of it for them, or just live with the garbage and hope for the best. That latter group will often get so frustrated with the popups and slow systems they fall out of favor with computing as a whole, and that is really sad. I wish all of you out there the best of luck, but I can tell you from doing this day after day, you are probably already infected. And it's only going to get worse in the near future.
Gone.
LoRyder
Wednesday, November 03, 2004
Let's get it started
To kick this blog off, I want to reflect on yesterday's presidential election and the reaction I've heard today.
First and foremost, it should be noted that I adhere to neither major political party. I am more closely aligned with the libertarians than anything else, but even at that I am not a die-hard. My political views are more closely aligned with conservatives, of the two major parties, but I do stray on several issues.
In the 2000 election, for 38 days after, and still to this day, Democrats say Bush "stole" the election. The Supreme Court "gave" the presidency to Bush. None of this is further from the truth. Bush won the election, even the liberal L.A. Times extensive recount scenarios proved, there was no way Gore would have won, if they had still been recounting today. Now that this one is pretty much in the books, will all of you Democrats PLEASE shut up about it?
The 2004 election again went down to the wire, with Bush again winning, and Ohio being the deciding state this year instead of Florida. But the larger picture from the nation as a whole, is that Bush captured about 51% of the popular vote. Not since Regan was in office has any president captured a true majority of the vote. Not even Clinton could do this, so I think the nation has indeed spoken. While not an overwhelming victory, and still showing the nation is pretty much a 50-50 split, it is no longer up for debate, at least in my opinion, who the president of this great nation is. Bush not only won the electoral vote, he won the popular vote by at least 3.5 million voters.
Listening to people discuss this today has been pretty interesting. Liberals and Democrats (the two are not necessarily the same) lament the loss has been pretty amusing. Everything from "I can't believe Americans are so stupid" to "well, kids, hope you like the desert, because the draft is coming!" I mean, seriously, what the fuck? OH GOD! Bush won! We're all going to DIE! Get a life.
I do not think Bush is the greatest president of our time. I wasn't even particularly satisfied that our two main choices were barely distiguishable from each other. But if you actually analyze the rhetoric both candidates were spewing over the past few months, Kerry was clearly careening wildly off every cliff he came to. For everything he was promising, and I do mean EVERYTHING, two things became painfully clear. One, there is no way he could get all of that done in four years, or even eight, on the slim chance he could get re-elected. And two, there was no way he could pay for everything he was promising without significantly raising taxes, not just on the "rich", but on everyone. This is my biggest problem with democrats. They want to give everything to everyone, with no way to pay for all of it. Government does not have ANY money. Any money the government uses to do anything comes directly out of the pockets of taxpayers. That means me and you, boys and girls. Sure, republicans are not a whole lot better, at least not the current batch of republicans we have available, but at least they don't blow THAT much smoke up my ass!
And speaking of trying to give everything to everyone, why do you think the democrats even go down that road? Because we, as whiny ass Americans that we are, keep asking for someone to take care of us. Jesus fucking christ, people, grow a backbone! Stand up for yourself, fend for yourself, stop expecting the government to be your new mommy! Do you realize that, counting social security and medicare payments, sales and usage taxes, federal, state and property taxes, over 50% of your income goes directly to the government? Half of every dollar you make! HALF! If you actually had to write the government a check every month for the total taxes you owe, this country would be in a state of rebellion right now. But since the kinder gentler government takes even that burden off of you, and deducts most of it straight from your paycheck before you get your greedy little hands on it, you don't even miss the money they are stealing from you. And still they want to raise taxes almost yearly. It blows my mind. It should blow yours. But will it? Nope. You will continue to go about your daily lives never even thinking about where all your money is going. And when you fill out your taxes next April, you will be absolutely ecstatic when you get a refund. A refund?!?! This is money the government took from you that they never should have had in the first place, used it for a year, gotten interest off of it, or bought another $800 toilet seat, and then said, oops, sorry, here's the money I stole from you back. And do you bitch slap them? Do you prosecute them for the theft? Hell no, you THANK them! You APPRECIATE being robbed.
Okay, that's enough for now. This is just where my random thoughts took me today.
Peace out.
LoRyder
First and foremost, it should be noted that I adhere to neither major political party. I am more closely aligned with the libertarians than anything else, but even at that I am not a die-hard. My political views are more closely aligned with conservatives, of the two major parties, but I do stray on several issues.
In the 2000 election, for 38 days after, and still to this day, Democrats say Bush "stole" the election. The Supreme Court "gave" the presidency to Bush. None of this is further from the truth. Bush won the election, even the liberal L.A. Times extensive recount scenarios proved, there was no way Gore would have won, if they had still been recounting today. Now that this one is pretty much in the books, will all of you Democrats PLEASE shut up about it?
The 2004 election again went down to the wire, with Bush again winning, and Ohio being the deciding state this year instead of Florida. But the larger picture from the nation as a whole, is that Bush captured about 51% of the popular vote. Not since Regan was in office has any president captured a true majority of the vote. Not even Clinton could do this, so I think the nation has indeed spoken. While not an overwhelming victory, and still showing the nation is pretty much a 50-50 split, it is no longer up for debate, at least in my opinion, who the president of this great nation is. Bush not only won the electoral vote, he won the popular vote by at least 3.5 million voters.
Listening to people discuss this today has been pretty interesting. Liberals and Democrats (the two are not necessarily the same) lament the loss has been pretty amusing. Everything from "I can't believe Americans are so stupid" to "well, kids, hope you like the desert, because the draft is coming!" I mean, seriously, what the fuck? OH GOD! Bush won! We're all going to DIE! Get a life.
I do not think Bush is the greatest president of our time. I wasn't even particularly satisfied that our two main choices were barely distiguishable from each other. But if you actually analyze the rhetoric both candidates were spewing over the past few months, Kerry was clearly careening wildly off every cliff he came to. For everything he was promising, and I do mean EVERYTHING, two things became painfully clear. One, there is no way he could get all of that done in four years, or even eight, on the slim chance he could get re-elected. And two, there was no way he could pay for everything he was promising without significantly raising taxes, not just on the "rich", but on everyone. This is my biggest problem with democrats. They want to give everything to everyone, with no way to pay for all of it. Government does not have ANY money. Any money the government uses to do anything comes directly out of the pockets of taxpayers. That means me and you, boys and girls. Sure, republicans are not a whole lot better, at least not the current batch of republicans we have available, but at least they don't blow THAT much smoke up my ass!
And speaking of trying to give everything to everyone, why do you think the democrats even go down that road? Because we, as whiny ass Americans that we are, keep asking for someone to take care of us. Jesus fucking christ, people, grow a backbone! Stand up for yourself, fend for yourself, stop expecting the government to be your new mommy! Do you realize that, counting social security and medicare payments, sales and usage taxes, federal, state and property taxes, over 50% of your income goes directly to the government? Half of every dollar you make! HALF! If you actually had to write the government a check every month for the total taxes you owe, this country would be in a state of rebellion right now. But since the kinder gentler government takes even that burden off of you, and deducts most of it straight from your paycheck before you get your greedy little hands on it, you don't even miss the money they are stealing from you. And still they want to raise taxes almost yearly. It blows my mind. It should blow yours. But will it? Nope. You will continue to go about your daily lives never even thinking about where all your money is going. And when you fill out your taxes next April, you will be absolutely ecstatic when you get a refund. A refund?!?! This is money the government took from you that they never should have had in the first place, used it for a year, gotten interest off of it, or bought another $800 toilet seat, and then said, oops, sorry, here's the money I stole from you back. And do you bitch slap them? Do you prosecute them for the theft? Hell no, you THANK them! You APPRECIATE being robbed.
Okay, that's enough for now. This is just where my random thoughts took me today.
Peace out.
LoRyder
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