If you're brave enough to wear it...

I caught a brief segment of some show on MTV or something similar which showed one of those fake Hollywood parties. Recently in New York at a birthday bash for hip hop star Sean "P. Diddy" Combs, American Pie actress Tara Reid arrived in a slinky black dress with a fur wrap. When she whipped off the wrap, it took the strap of the dress with it, and out popped her left breast. Now, of course TV threw the blurry box over the exposed breast, but the throng of photographers snapped away at said random boobage. You can see it The Sun Online.

What was interesting about it, as The Sun reports, is that she didn't realize it, and after an assistant helped her out by replacing the fallen strap, she proceeded to bitch out the photographers, telling them she had better not see those photos anywhere. Guess what, you dumb bitch? YOU'RE A FUCKING CELEBRITY and you just showed your left tit to the media! Duh! What did you think they were going to do? Just keep it for their private collection? These people get PAID to be there to capture just such mishaps, you dumbass.

But this got me thinking about a lot of women who wear skimpy clothing. I cannot tell you how many times I've seen a chick in a short skirt or low-cut blouse out in public, who is constantly tugging down on the skirt or re-adjusting the top to try to cover up what they intended to show off in the first place. I mean really, if they weren't trying to flaunt their assets, they wouldn't have put the outfit, let alone ever bought it in the first place. Look, I have ABSOLUTELY no problem with a woman showing a little skin, displaying those wonderful attributes they were so blessed with, but dammit, if you are brave enough to wear it, then please quit trying to pretend to be modest by constantly tugging and prodding on those clothes covering back up. There isn't enough material there to cover up anything anyway, so drop the act. The only thing you are doing by trying to pull that skirt down is bringing more attention to it. And you know, THAT is probably exactly what you are trying to do in the first place. Modesty is highly over rated anyway.

And as long as I'm on this, let me take this a step further. I think every woman has great assets she is blessed with. Some have great legs, some have beautiful eyes, some are warm and caring, some are just a great person inside, or any combination of a myriad of qualities. All of them are unique and beautiful in their own way. And the vast majority I know, either personally or through reading, have some form of self esteem issues. And that is perfectly okay. We all do, on some level. Then there are those with a seemingly lack of self esteem issues that should have them. For me personally, the worst you can see is a woman who thinks she is way hotter than she really is. And proceeds to flaunt parts of her body that should remain covered. I swear to the gods, if I have to see one more physically unattractive, grossly overweight slob in spaghetti straps with enough back fat hanging out to season a 50 gallon tub of collard greens, I'm going to heave. Please understand, I am NOT talking about the women who have a few extra pounds, or are not anorexic thin, I'm talking about the ones who are so obese they are a walking heart attack waiting to happen. Come on, ladies, this is just uncalled for.

You're out at a restaurant, hanging with friends, having a good time, when suddenly the hostess escorts a group of people past your table and all you can see is rolls of skin tumbling out of some gold lame` top and a thigh so big it would put a 30-pound Virginia smoked ham to shame.

MY EYES, MY EYES, IT BURNS!!! Jesus H. Christ, did you look in the mirror before you left the house?

Look, I am all for a strong, confident woman who is secure with herself, but dammit, give it a rest! Did you think, "well, I'm more overweight than a cross country transfer truck on a 3 day haul, but fuck it, if I show enough skin, there will be some slob out there who is drunk enough to fuck me" ??? NEWS FLASH: Most self respecting men are going to turn away in disgust. There are plenty of clothes out there that will cover up most of your excess flesh and still make you look sexy. Just do a Google search on plus size clothing, you will find thousands of great stores that cater to you! The sad part of this is, there probably IS some drunk slob who will bed you. Thanks, dumbass, you're only encouraging this behavior.

Did I mention that I am NOT politically correct? I call 'em like I see 'em.

Gone.